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JULY 2011

2011-09-08T18:04:00.005-07:00

July was an interesting month. On the 4th we decided to put our house up for rent. Not really knowing where we would go or how it would all work out, but it felt right so we did it. We spent the 4th weekend chilling with family enjoying fireworks in the rain and a bit of water fun in the yard. It was a relaxing and mostly un-eventful weekend.

DRIVE INN

It just wouldn't be summer without a trip to the drive inn. We went with the Springville Stods and saw Cars 2 & the Green Lantern. I love me a good drive inn movie!

Pitty Party

Summer for a working mom is tough. I often feel jealousy and remorse from the fact my husband gets to do all these fun summer activities with the girls while I sit in a stuffy office all day. Somedays I am better at hiding these pangs than others. In July...I had a breakdown and threw myself a little pitty party. I posted this on my Facebook:
"I am having a pitty party today. Yes, I know. My yearnings are futile, I am well aware. I am also blessed to have a job, this I know. But going to work today was tough. I don’t feel like sitting in meetings all day, I’d rather sit at the pool with my kids. I am tired of listening to adults complain, I’d rather play referee to my girls’ quarrels. Instead of cleaning up my bosses mess, I’d rather fold some laundry. A breakfast at my table rather than my car sounds like a great way to start the morning. My job is a means to and end…it does not define me. My job is a means to an end…it does not define me. My job is a means to an end…it DOES NOT define me."

A few days later the girls and I quickly retreated to Logan to get a way from this madness and visit Christy. Much to my suprise she had a full on "PITTY PARTY" all set up for me-banner AND an array of yummy treats all in my favorite color. She knows just how to cheer me up. If you don't have a best friend...I highly suggest you run out and get one pronto! It was such a great weekend. We hit the farmer's market, ate, napped and relaxed. I couldn't have asked for more. Love you Christy!!

30...SOMETHING

July also aged me another year. I don't really hate my birthdays, but they certainly aren't something as exciting as when I was a kid. However, this year Paul and the girls went to extra special lengths to make it a great day. After work, Paul and I went out for Sushi and then I came home to a balloon shoot out and lots of unexpected gifts. We ate ice cream cake and laughed. It was a good day. Thanks again babe, for a great surprise and making me feel special.

In the backyard was a balloon bouquet. I had to use my bbgun to shoot em open to find my gifts. There were filled with gift cards to all my favorite places. So sweet!

Shortly after my birthday Tiffany also took the girlsand I to the Riverwoods for a pedicure and dinner. The kids played at the splash pad too. We had a good time. Tiff is such a great friend. We can go weeks and weeks without hanging out and pick right up where we left off when we do. Love her!

On my birthday we also solidified who would rent our house and decided to move one whole block east to a bigger house, a situation that certainly felt "meant to be". Getting your home ready for renters and trying to prepare for a summer vacation simultaneously is madness. I don't recommend it. Yet we survived and we feel great about our decision to move. More on that later.

That pretty much sums up July! It flew by, but it certainly was eventful!

Father's Day 2011

2011-09-04T16:56:00.001-07:00

Well...what can I say it's been a while. Loads has happened and I can no longer procrastiate telling my positery of our awesomeness so allow me to continue...

I love Father's Day. I used to hate it and now...it's grand. I spend the weeks that preceed it reflecting on Paul and the wonderful man and Father he has become. I am in awe of his patience, his love for our children, his willingness to be a "hand's on" dad and his genuine-ness (is that a word? let's just go with it). Paul is a great Dad. He is always quick to praise and slow to anger. And I'll tell you our girls' really test that out. He is everything I wanted in a Daddy for my children. I love you Paul. Never stop being the gentle, loving man you are!

We had a father's day brunch with family and friends. I love being able to get people together for yummy food and a bit of fun. As we sat and ate, I looked at each of those Dad's and reflected on how strong, patient and loving each of them are. Be grateful for the Daddy's in your lives!

the Daddys' gifts: peanut butter chocolate BACON cookies!

A Solitary Week

2011-06-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

June 19-23rd Paul and I spent together...all alone, and had a little "stay-cation" here in Happy Valley. It was glorious. Beyond anything I could have hoped 5 days together alone could be. It's funny how you get into your groove of life and things are rushed and busy and it all works, or so you think. You find yourself constantly giving to people at work and then your kids and you feel pushed and pulled and you try to remember how you got to this place where you are tired all...the...time. Simpler times and memories come flooding in and you find yourself longing for those days. Then you spend time alone with your boyfriend and you realize how much you needed to reconnect and rejuvenate. A much needed reminder that in the chaos of life you have chosen your best friend to brave the storms with and it has been one of your better decisions in life. :)

We filled our week with lots of fun and relaxation. We watched several movies, went running together nearly every day, slept in all the way to 7:30 most days :), talked Paul into a manicure while he waited on my pedicure, went to an Owlz game, the Drive Inn and floated the river. It really was the best time.

Friday I returned to work feeling so grateful to have had that time together. I love my husband and I really needed a reminder of truly how much he means to me. If you want to have a happy marriage...marry your best friend!

A whole week of fun and this is the only picture we took. Us at the drive inn messing around before the movie started. Good, good times :)

Welcome Summer?

2011-06-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

I feel like a lazy blogger these days, but honestly we've been pretty chill lately. Nothing fancy to report. Other than the fact that our family has had quite the battle with sicknesses this year: Kylee had pneumonia then strep and an ear infection, Paul had lypoma's removed and is now on Thyroid medication, Aubrey had her weird rash, I had my foot surgery, my head infection, a UTI and most recently an infection in both kidney's. Let's hope this is the last of our health oddities for the remainder of the year.

We've officially kicked off summer and headed to Seven Peaks (I'll spare you a photo of me in a swimsuit...your welcome for that one) it was fun and I was instantly fried, yes I am WHITE! I am super excited that most of the cousins got passes this year so hopefully we can all get together and head down there. Aubrey had so much fun with Ella there last week. Makes it worth it to fight the crowds watching them laugh together.

I am also having a hard time getting into the swing of summer. Maybe because the weather has been mild or that the girls' camps and summer activities don't start til July. I just haven't felt summer is really here. I better get with it. We have lots of summer trips and activities planned that have yet to transpire. Maybe when they start I'll really get into the spirit of it all.

Paul and I have a whole week alone together starting Sunday night, we are having a little "stay-cation" here in Happy Valley. I don't know what I am more excited for to hear my own thoughts or to sleep in :). Nonetheless, I am thrilled!!

So...happy summer :).

May Misc

2011-05-27T14:45:00.001-07:00

Its seems like May has flown right by me. School is out now and the summer schedule is filling up. Where does the time go?

With my Grandma passing I realize I never posted about the best Mother's Day ever! I slept in and I was awoken by this beautiful tray of deliciousness and a loving card filled with pictures of my girls. I love that this breakfast was Kylee's idea and that she made the eggs and flipped the pancakes and that is stressed Paul out to be in the kitchen with her. Ha!

My gift was a new GIANT kitchen aid (in white). My old one sounds somewhat like a lawnmower and has seen better days. I have spent hours loving baking Christmas cookies and birthday cakes, thanksgiving rolls and endless batches of goodies with that mixer so I couldn't quite part with it, but I am super excited to break in this new one! Cookies anyone?

I was able to send the afternoon and evening in my room half napping/half watching a movie. It was restful and I loved it. Paul also made me this amazing (from scratch) cheesecake. I am still braggin about it to our friends. He finds little ways to make me feel so special and loved. Thanks for makin this the best low-key, relaxing Mom's Day Ever family. I sure love ya.

Can you see that sugar cookies crust? Homemade...by a man! So good.

Sadly with my trip to MT I missed Ky's school play and her track meet. She signed up for the relay race with a few of her friends and they ended up placing first. Paul said she was so proud. Just look at that form! So cute.

So my daughter to squeeze in and be up at the top!

She also performed her class play "Finding Neno" last week. Thanks to the Orem Stoddards for cramming in a tiny room to support your niece and thanks Tiff for doing her hair and makeup. That was a big worry and I love that we could call on you and your skillz.

May also teased with a few warm days and we were reminded what sun and warmth feels like. We cleaned the yard, set up the tramp, planted flowers and played with bubbles. Hello Summer!!

Last, but certainly not least...we expanded our family. This is Roxy our 2 month old Shih Tzu. We found her one night on KSL after Paul said "we should get another dog". The next day Aubrey and I picked her up. She is so tiny and so sweet. We love her!

Nancy Diana Maart 1933-2011

2011-05-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

Nancy Diana Maart passed away peacefully and enjoyed a happy reunion with her husband, Warren, and their three sons-Neil, Vaughn, and Arlyn on May 12, 2011.
Nancy was the youngest of eight, the only child not born in Holland, on Feb. 22, 1933, in Salt Lake City, Utah, to Cornelius and Jannigie DeLange. Nancy married Warren Frederick Maart on May 18, 1953, and was later sealed to each other for eternity in the Salt lake Temple.
Nancy enjoyed her family-which brought her much joy and happiness. While living on the ranch in Melstone, she was busy raising and keeping up with her eight children with school, sports, and activities. Nancy was the queen of school bus driving and enjoyed being around all the kids. Nancy loved crocheting, shopping, and her many kitties over the years. She seemed to be everybody's mom-she was there for anyone. Nancy was a stranger to no one; she would smile and talk with all. Nancy was a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Her service in the church involved Primary, Relief Society, and played organ for many years.

Nancy will be missed by her daughters, Meriel (Shane) Beck of Aberdeen, Idaho, DeAnn Maart of Idaho Falls, Idaho, Jennifer (Jim) Straight of Bountiful, Utah, Miriam (Matt) Wieczorek of Yuma, Ariz., Julie (Duane) Wacker of Roundup, Janelle (Danny) Hammons of Billings; and her wonderful 16 grandchildren - Ryan, Misti, Dylon, Jill, Preston, Jalisa, Kelli, Alex, Brandon, Sid, Jenna, Toni, Tyler, Chance, Brock, Roni; and four great-grandchildren-Kylee, Aubrey, Antonio, and Jaslene.

Visitations may be made from 6 to 9 p.m. on Tuesday, May 17, at Smith's Downtown Chapel and Wednesday, May 18 at noon to 1 p.m. at the LDS Chapel at 1000 Wicks Lane. Funeral services will begin at 1 p.m. on Wednesday, with interment to follow at Sunset Memorial Gardens.

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I spent most of this week in Montana attending Grandma's funeral. Funeral's are hard enough on their own, but having somewhat ostracized myself from this side of my family made this trip even more unfortunate. I dreaded seeing everyone, dealing with everyone and trying to be cordial when inside I was hurting from their past actions or words.

Yes, I knew this trip would be difficult, saying goodbye is never easy, but I didn't anticipate the healing that would come from attending. One big lesson I learned from this trip is in death, much is forgiven and forgotten. A lesson I am immensely grateful for today. The unifying factor of a loving grandmother who had gathered us together was common ground enough to let bygones be bygones. It allowed for a time where a simple hug could heal old wounds and reconcile my deep rooted pains. I cried...a lot :). And even today I feel somewhat emotionally exhausted from the whole trip. I hadn't considered the healing possibility of this trip and the emotions of it have sort of wiped me out. I also feel greatly blessed. Blessed to have a family that forgives, that loves and above all laughs. I spent a lot of time laughing between the cries. My flight home I was overwhelmed with thoughts and impressions of how I can do more, be more present and involved with the family. It was good. As I left the tiny Billings airport I had a renewed love and appreciation for my family. Family is everything.

So I thank my Grandmother whose unfortunate passing has paved the way to this healing and reconciliation in my life. I am sure she would be happy to know that it was she that brought us together to this result.

I love and will miss you Grandma.

Cathing Up

2011-05-10T16:23:00.002-07:00

We'll it's safe to say I have been on a little hiatus and now it's time to come out from under my hiding place and reclaim life.

It's been a month since I last posted so let's do a little catching up shall we?

Home remodel-we purchased our home 6 years ago with dreams of upgrading and remodeling here and there. 2011 was the year we finally started actually making these dreams become reality. We have this hideous backroom that served and a laundry/catch all. I have no idea what the previous owners had in mind when including this addition, but they generously left it unfinished and all around eye-sore. This month we finished it and turned it into a playroom/laundry room/workout area. It has been a dream come true. I love this room. I have put hours of thought into what this room would look like and it was amazing to see it come to life.

I wish we had better before pics. It was truly nasty.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

My absolute favorites?

This magazine rack from PB I have coveted since Kylee was born...

And these curtains. Thanks to the help of my own personal Martha Stewart aka-Heather Lewis who helped me sew these up in just over an hour. She is a sewing goddess! Could this fabric be cuter? I think not.

We had a great spring break. I took a few days off to help paint and finalize the backroom, have some fun and take the girls to various appointments.

First we went to Planet Play, which our family has lovingly coined "Pizza Planet" -I agree it's is a much better name. We ate, played games and laser tag, rode go carts and ate again. Good times. We took zero pictures, but if you have a chance to head to Sandy-it's sure fun.

The next day was full of appointments. First, the dentist. Luckily Kylee escaped with no cavities and was elated to know that she would eventually need braces. Kids are so funny. This was Aubrey's first trip and I think she was actually sweating the whole time. It was adorable. I had to snap these pics of her getting x-rays and a cleaning. She bit the hygienist and cried just a little, but the Disney princess toothbrush was worth it all in the end. Kylee also had her first ever optometrist appointment and discovered she's a bit nearsighted, but for now, won't need glasses. I warned her I would show this picture to the boy she likes at school and she freaked out. I think I'll continue to keep it for blackmail reasons.

We even had a few days of decent weather where we promptly put our children to work. I decided I need to have more kids simply to have more manual labor done around my house :).

The end of the month Christy and I hit Women's Conference again. This is our 3rd year running. It was so good to just have time to be alone, be spiritually uplifted and relax. I look forward to it every year and it never disappoints. This year my impressions were strong and specific so I look forward to implementing these changes as I continue to find balance in my working mother role.

The Saturday following the conference we met Ben, Paul and the girls (I kick them to Idaho for the conference) at Lagoon. The weather was odd (off and on snow and warm stretches) but we had so much fun. Kylee rode a lot of scary rides and I was so proud. She did start gagging and dry heaving when she stood in line for the Wicked ride so we let her off the hook on that one. Aubie also LOVED it. She would scream "yahoo, yahoo" on every ride and it was just ear to ear grins the whole time. After 3 hours she just pooped out and slept in her stroller for several hours. If you know Aubie this is extremely RARE and should attest to the amount of fun she really had. We closed down the park after 7 straight hours of fun then hit Bucca Di Beppo for dinner. An amazingly fun weekend.

In other news, I have been stressed. I'll be honest. Paul is applying to nursing schools as we speak so the reality of single motherhood is upon me and in many ways I am panicking (Paul will leave us behind to attend school for a year). I have been looking for new jobs-a few in Salt Lake which would mean moving and renting our home and taking our kids away from friends and school and our amazing ward. Times are uncertain and I am trying to deal with them with grace. A task in and of itself.

We also have several good friends moving on from Provo and far far away and my heart is sad in many ways. I will miss these dear friends and I am so happy for them, but it brings to life the harsh reality that we are still here while our friends move on. Trying to find happiness in my current phase is a constant struggle. I will get better at appreciating the here and now. Yes, I will!

Other than that, we are same old. Life is moving forward. Our kids are growing and getting more sassy with each passing day and this warm weather is reminding us of all the summer fun we have planned (Moab, San Diego, Coeur D Alene). Good times are ahead. Woot! Woot!

District Arbor Day Poster Winner: Kylee Stoddard

2011-04-04T16:54:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to my talented daughter for her poster winning districts for the Utah Arbor Day Poster Contest!

This is a picture of our house with all her cousins, aunts and uncles. She meticulously drew each person and colored it in the nick of time to make the deadline.

Regina,Kerri and Stacy-can you spot yourselves? Can you find Paul (he is my favorite). Kylee and Emma are the bottom left heads (my scanner cut them off-oops). The TV in the window is on a channel featuring "trees". Aubrey and Sophie are the middle bottom. She drew Aubrey in her tutu...love all the detail.

I plan to frame the original to hang in our house. Maybe she'll win state...then they frame it for me :)!

I love it Ky! Way to go.

Hello Spring!

2011-04-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was warm and sunny and fabulous here in P-town. Aube and I walked and picked Ky up from school (paying for that long walk today though...oh the soreness and swelling) then spent the afternoon into late evening basking in the warmth of the sun. The neighborhood kids built a fort on the side of our house, rode scooters and Ky pulled them all up and down the sidewalk in our wagon. They laughed and laughed. It made my heart happy.

Welcome Spring! Oh how I have missed you :)

Besties

2011-03-16T19:23:00.002-07:00

Aubrey and her cousin Sophie have become great friends. They have played together so much these past few months. I don't think a day goes by where Aubrey doesn't ask to go to Sophie's or if we can go pick her up.

I love how close they are and it is hilarious to see how their little minds work when they are together. Today, I am thankful to have family close by and for cousins who act like sisters.

"Free" Years Old

2011-03-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Aubrey's birthday on the 4th since Paul had to work on the 5th. This is her "party" year, but I was just not up to doing a whole big thing. Instead, I got a bunch of generic party supplies and we invited the Orem Stoddard's to come celebrate with us so we could pretend it was a big shindig with all the bells and whistles.

Per her usual rountine Aubrey bounced into our room right at 7am. We sang "Happy Birthday" as we tried to wake up and explained how it was her birthday today and asked her how old she was. "I'm FREE" she said and I said "yep you are a big girl now" then she told me she isn't my baby anymore. Now she is my "Big Baby". Oh how very true. Ha ha

We bought Aubrey a little pink 3 wheel razor scooter and had it in the living room for first thing in the morning. She came out with mouth open and said, "What is that?"..."Is that mine?". Then scooted into Kylee's room to wake her up. It is hilarious to watch her scoot around. Now we have to take it in the car everywhere we go because that is what Ky does.

Aubrey has loved Spiderman for a while now. Probably due to the fact that she has spent a lot of time hanging out with her guy friends while Paul is at school. For a while she was torn between an Ariel cake and Spiderman. Since I doubt a son is in my future I decided to gradually lean her toward the Spiderman idea. She loved it and it was a nice change from the pink princess that is our norm.

We got a giant Spidey balloon, masks and Paul and I did our best to design and frost a little mini Sidey cake. It was a group effort and I think it turned out cute enuf.

She was funny opening gifts. Didn't really get excited about any of them, just wanted to rip open the next. Along with her scooter she got a Noah's ark Little People set, a Spiderman book and big Hello Kitty coloring book (thanks Orem Stods), a dress and shoes (Aunt Jill), Aladdin movie, spring outfit, cute giraffe dress and Spiderman Lunch Box (thanks Ty & Tippy) and Spiderman PJs (she asked for this specifically). She wears the PJ's everynight and colors in her book ALL THE TIME! It's good to be FREE :).

We had pizza, cake and ice cream, watched Spiderman 2, played Wii and I held Cami all night. It was one of the bests evenings since January. Loved it.

Happy 3rd Birthday to my BIG baby girl!

Big Girl Bed

2011-03-13T19:53:00.005-07:00

Just after the surgery Aubrey was pure HELL to put to bed. I mean it-H.E.L.L.

She would cry and scream then cry and scream more for a very long time. And just to top it off she would make herself vomit. I am so not kidding. What is it with my children and throwing up? Seriously. You know it's bad when my husband, who has endless patience, loses it. Yeah that's when it's bad.

Neeldess to say, something needed to give. Paul kept telling me that she needed a real bed, but I was holding onto that crib for dear life. For several ridiculous reasons really. It is hard to accept that your 2 year old is really almost 3. You brought home this baby and you loved her tiny then one day you woke up and she is telling you what to do and how to wear your hair (literally this happens) and now she needs a big bed. How did this happen? It went so fast. I am powerless to stop it.

The other reason is harder to admit. My children are 7 years apart. That's a long time. You should see the looks on peoples faces when I say "I have a 9 year old and a 2 year old". I actually told the PT Assistant that Paul knocked me up and had to marry me. It was funny and she laughed...hard. I don't regret that space because I needed that time to get over myself and my insecurities and I needed the Lord to tell me it was time for another. He did.

After Aubrey, I knew there was another one out there for us. I accepted it and have looked forward to it. I had it in my head that #3 would come late spring of 2011. We would move Aubrey into a toddler bed and the baby to the crib. See-I had it all planned out. Instead...we took down this crib, wrapped it safely and put it in storage to wait---indefinitely.

I fully admit that when this big girl bed arrived and my baby girl was snug as a bug a big part of me wanted to cry. Two of my sister in law's and one of my best friends have kids Aubie's age and they both have little bundles of joy. Children spaced close together. It has it's own challenges and I see that, but my heart still yearns on.

However, I appreciate the nightime peace and how void of vomit our lives have been these days with a "Big Girl Bed". We did the Super Nanny method the night after we set it up and I put her back in her bed 15 times (yes I counted). It was exhausting, but it worked! For the next fews nights she would say "I shouldn't cry?" and Paul would say "No you shouldn't cry". Too cute.

Now if we could just get her to sleep past 7am. She wakes up and immediately comes in saying "It's wake up morning time, get up"..."It's not dark outside". Help us daylight savings :).

Unveiled

2011-02-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

The gauze came off and I saw this...

They actually look better than I expected (a hell of a lot better than they feel), that's for sure! Physical Therapy started shortly after. I started sweating before we even got in the car. It hurt. A lot. I have to see him again 3 times next week. Terror, sheer terror I tell ya.

At this point giving birth sounds easier.

The end.

This is Hard!

2011-02-20T20:34:00.001-07:00

Yesterday thanks to my SIL Regina I had a few hours to myself. Paul worked and the girls spent the afternoon with their cousins. It took me nearly two hours to wrap my feet in tape and bread bags (I can't get them wet until Wednesday), shower, blow dry my hair and get dressed in clothes other than loungewear and PJs. TWO HOURS! I was so tired after that I wondered if it was even worth all that effort. However, this was the first time in 10 days that I have done my hair and put on makeup and Paul kept saying how pretty I looked. Ha ha so I guess it was worth it. Having some time all alone I planned to take a nap, but I have been feeling very anxious and a little depressed these past few days and I thought if I got myself all ready I would feel better. It worked, but was still really hard.

Being slow and immobile has been getting to me. My desire to get off this couch hasn't caught up with my body and that is super frustrating for me. At least the pain I can drug away. The mental side of this is much more difficult.

I want to go back to work on Tuesday but a few hours out and about Saturday proved to be too much for me. Paul wheeled me around RC Willey to pick out a "big girl bed" for Aube (more on that later) and I sat in the car as we drove to West Jordan to pick up the mattress. Today, I am paying for this little excursion. I am beyond exhausted and my feet are swollen and more painful than they have been in days. Becuase of the pain I had to take more drugs, that make me feel gross and tired and sick. It's a vicious cycle. I got ready, sat in a wheelchair then sat in a car. That's it. Can I really go back to work?

I will say I am more mobile than I have been since the surgery so I am hanging onto that little glimmer of hope.

In other news, my sister got engaged on Valentine's and is getting married August 26th. I am so excited for Jackson to FINALLY be apart of our family. He is such a sweet guy and is so good to my sister. I am trying not to be upset about the fact their engagement postponed by May trip to Texas and New Orleans. I guess I'll forgive them if they have a baby right away. Ha! Love you sis.

Could she be more gorgeous?

Be My Valentine

2011-02-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

I love Valentine's day! I actually love the first 14 days of February. Following Christmas is a tough gig and with January's gloomy Utah weather it gives us something fun and special to look forward to.

Instead of treats and toys and love notes Paul and I did a "Valentine Countdown". Everyday was something different-"write a love letter and mail it", "do something nice and spontaeneous today for your valentine", "kiss 14 times today". We sort of fizzled out after my surgery, but the first 9 days were fun. Kylee loves "14 days" I have said it before nothing gets Ky out of bed like these hidden Valentine's :).

I know some people think this is a made up holiday-a way for Hallmark and florists to make money. All reasons that I completly agree with. However, I embrace a time of year that gives me the opportunity to express love that is outside of the ordinary everyday ways I say "I love you" to Paul and my kids.

Our tradition of molten lava cakes and chinese take out were delicious. Afterward, Paul wheeled me around Home Depot for an hour. What could be more romantic? Ha ha

I hope your Valentine's Day was full of hugs, kisses and a greater appreciation for those you love.

One of our first countdown items was "Exhange cheesy valentine's that you make of buy for less than a dollar". Here's what we exchanged.

Paul literally cut 100 little hearts. He is a gem.

I gave this to him and promptly ate half this bag of white chocolate popcorn deliciousness.

Yes...I truly love Valentine's!!

11 Years

2011-02-20T17:36:00.000-07:00

February 4th Paul and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. We both have been looking forward to this weekend since before Christmas and it did NOT disappoint.

We headed up to Salt Lake for the whole weekend. All alone. It was heavenly. We ordered room service, sat in the hot tub and ate here and here and here. We spoiled overselves with a new All-Clad cookware set and relaxed enjoying the quite bliss of being together. Did I mention we were all alone. Yeah it was the best!

My gift for Paul this year was 11 memories from our 11 years. I wrote these memeories and put them in little boxes for Paul to find throughout the day. I hid them here and there and we laughed and hugged as we remember specific times that have speical meaning for both of us.

Year 11 I think I have learned a valueable lesson on marriage. Yes only one. Ha ha. This past year I have come to realize I did marry my best friend. Different experiences this year have opened my eyes to what good friends Paul and I are and I have come to appreciate that friendship more than ever before.

I love you honey. You are the bestest of my best friends. Happy 11th Anniversary. You really are the cheese to my macaroni.

We walked into our hotel room and found this. Awwww.

I heart room service!

Special THANKS to Neal & Stacy and Ben & Christy for watching the girls. I heart you too :)!

Recovery

2011-02-16T06:18:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow will be one whole week since they sliced my feet open. I think I should take a moment to document this week and it's ups and downs.

Surgery went really well. I did have a complication with my eyes not sealing shut during surgery that left me in immense pain. We rushed to the eye doctor who patiently waited for me until 6pm and he fixed me up real good. If you need a good eye doctor-Caywood & Winward are amazing! I have to put goop in my eye every night for 6 weeks, but I'll live.

The first week has not been too bad. The pain decreases with every day and I am proud to say I only broke down in tears one time. Yesterday was the first day I was able to walk without crutches and minimal pain and that is a whole new sort of torment. I can get around better, but if I stand too long or walk to far the pressure and throbbing is near unbearable. It's difficult to feel like you are ready to get off the couch mentally, but being physically unable to get very far messes with your head. I feel a little trapped and that makes me feel anxious, helpless and frustrated. Last night Paul wheeled me around Home Depot for an hour and that helped a lot, which is it's own sort of depressing.

My mom came for the first few days and she was a godsend. She took care of the girls and me and just having her here was really nice. Love you mom! The drugs helped me tolerate nearly everything so I was in a la la land I loved. I had a lot of nutty dreams where people were giving me their babies and one where I had a long and sad conversatin with my brother who is in prision. Twice I woke up actually crying from these vivid dreams. Drugs are not my friend. Sunday they started making me feel really sick-light headed and disoriented, just not myself so I switched to 100% Motrin yesterday. I am still waiting to see if that was a good idea or not.

We have had so many great friends bring food and books and movies. Friends who have come and taken Aubrey for hours to play. How did I get to have all these amazing people in my life? I sure love you guys.

My very favorite thing is having visitors. You can only watch so many movies before they all seem the same. Melissa and Amy came on Sunday and we had fun laughing and gossiping. Kerri came over yesterday and it was so fun to hold Camille and just talk about nothing. Heather came to laugh with me about the oddities of being handi-capable. Christy arrive this afternoon as well. People have called to check on me, dropped off cookies and gifts. I feel so blessed to know all you great people and I am in awe of your generosity and love for me and my family. Thank you, thank you a million times.

Onward and upward with this recovery I go. Physically I improve daily, but now the mental battle begins and that is so much more difficult. However, with friends and family at every turn I'll be running around before you know it!

Wii like to Party

2011-02-07T22:15:00.001-07:00

Last weekend we rocked it out Wii style!

Most of Paul's family (we missed you AF Stods) crammed in our little house and we danced and sang the night away. It was so much fun and something I really needed after feeling so BLAH all January. I always get stressed and nervous inviting people to my "cozy" house, but in the end I feel like it went really well. We laughed and laughed. It was honestly the funnest time I have had since Christmas. I love hanging out with my nieces and nephews. They are growing up so fast and are becoming so hilarious. I really had a great time.

We must do it again!

I was busy pretending I can dance and holding my new niece Camille that I only snapped a few pics, but you get the idea...it was fun, loved it!

I have to say my absolute favorite was listening to Robert sing "Bust a Move". Completely hysterical!

Invitation

Random...

2011-01-31T15:40:00.002-07:00

Random picture of Aubrey after her doctor visit last week. She was exhausted and Kylee placed all her little animals around Aube becuase, "It will make her so happy". I went to start dinner peaked in and sure enough-Aubrey was OUT with all her little animals looking on. Precious. Except it was 6:15pm and she was napping.

Hip Hip Hooray for January 31st. The last day of this dreadful month.

January has just been sucky all the way around. First, Ky contracted pneumonia that kept her out of school for weeks following Christmas break. We were literally stuck in the house for what has felt like eternity. I was certain I was going to go crazy. Then I had my weird ear infection (that still is sore today) and last week we took Aubrey in with a fever and coughing and now she is on antibiotics. Finally, Saturday morning Paul woke up to a terrible head cold. Will this ever end?

February has got to be better...right? Well the first week for sure! We kick off "14 days of Valentine's" tomorrow and I love that tradition. Paul and I will celebrate our 11th anniversary this weekend and I am jumping out of my skin in anticipation. Yes, the first week of February will be amazing!

After the 9th...I have my doubts. We are T-minus 8 days until my surgery where I will most definitely be house bound for at least 2 weeks. Twice now I have had dreams that the doctor accidentally cut off both my feet. "Just a fluke thing", he kept saying. Like no big deal. I was mostly devastated that I could no longer wear flip flops. I am hoping this is not a sign. Honestly, I am very nervous. Pray for me...for my feet and my sanity as I attempt to stay on my back, feet in the air, for an ENTIRE week. Lord help my little family survive this.

Onto more randomness...I would like to say how truly blessed I feel to know that my Heavenly Father is aware of me and my heart. I appreciate that He knows how to comfort me in sadness even if it is in the oddest of ways.

Last year, this time I was greatly burdened. I alluded to it here, but honestly it stemmed deeper than that. I really- really want another child, but life and our current path proved that to be something far out of my reach at the moment. Throughout the year I did my best to accept this and move forward. It was hard and I had to work through some anger and frustration and face where our lives are currently and the reality that today isn't the right time. That's hard, you know?

This weekend, I was able to see how the Lord was blessing me. I could see that the He was placing people in my life who were experiencing the joy of increasing their families. I actually have 12 people in my close circle of friends and family that have either had a baby in the last 6 months or will have a baby in the next 6 months. I have been able to cuddle, hold and feed and love these little babies. It has brought my heart so much joy and contentment-even just those few brief moments of snuggling is so very good. Plus, afterwards I get to go home and sleep through the night and that's never a bad thing :).

My point is, there are blessings all around us. If we take a moment to review them we will see that the window of heaven truly is open and we are all greatly blessed. The key is stopping to take inventory and recognizing the Lord's hand in your life. Even amid the suckiness of January there is good to be seen and blessing to be appreciated.

That's all the randomness I have for today. Adios January. I will NOT miss you.

Phew!

2011-01-20T15:05:00.001-07:00

On Monday my earlobe started hurting. Wore earrings too long, I thought. Tuesday the lobe started swelling and becoming more painful and I found a lump under my ear so naturally, I started becoming more of a whiner. Tuesday night I spent the evening with a frozen gogurt behind my ear attempting to ease my pain. Didn't work.

Tried heat-nope. Tylenol? Nada. Benadryl? Still no change. Then I had a dream it was a giant cancer ball inside my neck. Scary!

Wednesday it got worse. Now the swelling was in my lobe and down my ear and into my neck. Paul was certain something bit me so he attempted to squeeze it. Well that just made it bleed and hurt more.

I wasn't too concerned about this ear, but this morning I woke up and felt very concerned and had a nagging feeling to call the doc-and pronto. This afternoon I went in and turns out I have a "severe infection" that requires antibiotics the size of my thumb. Not only that, but there is a chance this infection could get into some bone behind my ear that is, as my doctor put it, "Life Threatening". I was to immediately go pick up my drugs and urged to rush to the ER if this infection got worse, or if the bone even felt the slightest bit tender.

Remember when I said this was going to be a FABULOUS new year? I am going to go ahead and retract that statement now. I'll just be happy if we make it to 2012 alive.

Thank goodness for modern medicine, antibiotics and for those relentless nagging feelings!

A Start

2011-01-14T12:33:00.002-07:00

I mentioned below that one of my goals for 2011 is a focus on Motherhood. I have no doubt this goal will not be an easy one, but it is something I truly desire to change about myself. I feel so good about this goal and I am excited to see what affects it has on our family and especially my children, but I hadn't really considered how it could possibly change me and my outlook on things...

Thursday is "deep clean day". I take an hour or so and really get things clean-I mean really clean. Washing walls and scrubbing floors, you know, thorough. I love how my house feels after this scrub down. I feel organized and refreshed. It makes me happy.

This Thursday was different. I deep cleaned to a certain point and was just over it so I started dinner. The girls and I ate together and then enjoyed a bowl of ice cream while we laughed at Aubrey being her silly little self. Afterwards we played. I have always felt a little awkward pretending with my kids. It just has never felt natural. I'll color or something, but pretending I was a princess or I was a evil villain just was weird and I would never do it. However, tonight we played and pretended for hours and I enjoyed it more than I realized. We screamed and jumped and ran in our little house. We ran from the "scary witch" that was chasing us. We poked each other with pretend swords and played hide and seek. It took no effort for me at all. I was just "in it" and it was amazing.

Finally, we ended up on our bed.-just me and my girls. Kylee lie next to me cuddling into my side and Aubrey jumped on the bed while telling us funny stories from her random mind. In that moment immense joy washed over me. I felt so happy and so blessed. Kylee said over and over how comfortable she was cuddled next to me and my heart melted a little more.

Later, we watched a movie and for the first time in weeks the girls went to bed without wanting their dad to tuck them in. I sat folding laundry and was overcome with the joy of my opportunity to be a Mother; a simple feeling of utter happiness that has always been a little distant from my heart. Motherhood has been a struggle, but 9 years in I think I am finally beginning to truly understand the joy it can bring if I let it. This journey is a short one; a fact I am quickly realizing. Today I discovered a few simple things I can change that will allow me to enjoy this journey more fully. Ultimately, leading me to become the kind of Mother I hope to be. It's a start!

I look forward to how this focus will change me and thank my Heavenly Father for a Thursday night like this.

B-Boo Freedom

2011-01-13T11:05:00.002-07:00

There are times I will admit my ridiculousness and today is one of those times. I fully realize Aubrey will be 3 years old in March and yes I continued to allow her to have a binkie-or in her case a "B-boo". It soothed her nerves (and mine) at times and I really felt like she still "needed" it. At this point she was only using it at night, but could manipulate her way into getting it when she wanted. We are suckers and here's why:

Last week Paul went to put Aubrey down for bed and she asked for her binkie. He said she could have it, but that if she didnt' stop using it she would have teeth like Ursula. Ursula from "The Little Mermaid". Anyone who knows my baby girl will know she LOVES and I mean loves Ariel and all things Princess and loathes Ursula. This notion really made her think and she cried because she "didn't want Ursula teeth", it was all quite dramatic.

The miracle of this story is the next day she woke up and told Paul she wanted her B-boo and he told her she couldn't have it. Then, she explained how she wanted to throw it away. And that...she DID-straight to the trash!

The first night sans b-boo I was skeptical. She needed this binkie. I watched time and time again how it would calm her troubled soul. I found an extra bink and hid it just in case she backslid on this, which I was most certain she would. But alas! It has been a full week now. She hasn't asked for it or mentioned it. Done. That's it. We are binkie free in 2011 people! I am still in shock at the ease of it all and my child's ability to completely fool me. She is good, she is really good!

Honestly, I am surprised at her thought process because I think Ursula has tremendous teeth. Look at those pearly whites. Straight as a board.

I guess the secret is finding out what your child really detests and exploiting that to the fullest. Yes, that is great parenting advise right there. I should write a book.

Happy New Year

2011-01-09T18:38:00.001-07:00

Happy New Year! I love the feeling that the new year brings. I don't mean the "clean slate" or the "fresh start"...I mean not being a glutinous pig and having food all around. I feel guiltless throwing out all the crap we've surrounded ourselves with over the holidays-after all...it's a "new year" it's a perfect time to decultter :).

After Christmas I went to check out my post of last years goals and felt pretty good about my progress, for the most part. I"ll be honest I did terrible on goal 1, but I am going to go ahead and keep the ball rolling on into 2011.

A quick review:

Exclamation points are in check!!!

I have made leaps and bounds with saying "No" guiltlessly in 2010.

My goal to stop focusing on doubt has been a fabulous one. It has opened my eyes to realize those truths that I do know and I am certain of. This focus has pushed my thoughts always from the oddities that have troubled me and into those thing I am comfortable doing and those things I do know. It has been wonderful, but it has settled me into a sort of carelessness that worries me a bit so I'd like to try harder and keep pushing myself. Carelessness often can turn into apathy and that is not where I want to be so I'll move onto phase 2 of this goal into 2011.

The Matthew 6:34 goal has taught me a lot about myself, the way I mother, my wife-ing (is that a word...sure?) and has helped me realize the control freak side of me at little more. In some ways I have let go and in others I haven't. However, it was good this year to let go and allow the chips to fall where they may. It's been frustrating and often times heart wrenching, but I am doing better to accept where we are going and worked hard o make the most of the here and now.

Let me now ring in 2011 with a few more:

1-Keep the Tastebook alive. No really get goin!

2-Be more present with my children.
I have another blog that I keep private. A place for me to be as raw and honest as I like. It's cheap therapy, I guess. Right before Christmas I wrote a post about my sudden realization of how short the time I have with my children truly is. Here is an excerpt:
...18 years and those over lap as you have more children. Then they are off. To experience their own ups and downs; to experience life away from my shelter and influence. With these thoughts in mind I find myself trying harder to be more present with my kids, more patient, less concerned about housework and to do lists. It is hard for me, I can't lie. However, I don't want to look back 25 years from now and realize I have no relationship with my children. Sure my house was clean and I busied myself, but was I "there" for them and with them. I want to be able to hug and kiss them without a cringe or withdrawal. I want them to come to me for advice and comfort. I want to hear about lost loves and broken hearts and successes and failures. I want them to want to come to me. I want a really good relationship with my kids, long after they have left my nest. I have to try harder to be the kind of Mother they need me to be...

So that's the goal. Focus more on my relationship with my children. Be present with them, be a better listener, play more, laugh more and be "with" them on a daily basis. Leave the housework, hobbies, service for after that quality time and realize those small changes I can make that will make big differences in my relationship with them.

3-Be aware and be cautious of apathy.
Now that I am comfortable with where my faith as landed me, I realize I need to keep an open mind and try harder to invite the spirit more into my life. To be successful in this I feel I need to focus more on prayer. Focus on talking with my Heavenly Father with humility and love on a regular, daily basis. My hopes here are that I will be directed and blessed to know the will of the Lord in my life and be willing to do whatever I am inspired to do.

4-Light a bigger fire.
My best friend gave me this amazing book for Christmas and so far it has my mind reeling. I feel like she innately knows how to help me-it boggles my mind sometimes. Anyway...in this book the author talks about how we can make small changes in our lives to strengthen the relationships with those around us. He goes on to discuss how the desires we want to see from those in our lives should first be exemplified in us. If we want our Mom to be more affectionate, we should be more affectionate first...novel concept, right. I realize this is something I have heard before, but he makes it so accessible and so easy to apply. I am rambling...

Paul and I have been married 11 years now. He is my best friend and I truly love him to the moon. With two kids, school, work, a mortgage and other responsibilities the fire of our romance has slowed to mere embers. I am not talking about bedroom type of stuff here I am talking about everyday romance. I mean the kind where you go out of your way to be sweet, outside of putting the toilet seat down. The kind of romance that makes you swoon over your partner's thoughtfulness and expression of love. The kind that makes you realize..."Oh yes, I really love this person and I am soooo lucky". That's my goal--to be more romantic first, to take that initiative and light a bigger fire. I want more romance so I need to be more romantic.

That's it, four goals to kick off 2011. I have a feeling this is going to be a FABULOUS year!

Merry Christmas 2010

2011-01-09T17:40:00.002-07:00

We had the whole Fam Damily in our tiny house for Christmas. It was cozy, but I loved it.

We did our usual family traditions-books and PJ's on Christmas Eve. We also did the 12 days of Christmas, which I am sure contained more laughing than singing. Christmas morning we gave our gift to Christ and tore into the giant pile under our tree.

We didn't take many pics, but here are a few of my favorite memories from our holiday vacation:

Kylee's face when she realized there was actually a Wii in the Wii box she opened. Utter SHOCK.
Aubrey in her Ariel outfit from Uncle Ryry...I am certain nothing has ever been cuter
Aubrey telling Grampy Shane she "liked his hair"
Ryan transforming into Alladin in Aubrey's eyes and calling him that all week
Opening Tiff's present and being totally shocked and touched at her thoughtfulness
Sitting down at dinner with everyone Christmas night
Mom peeing a little when she played the jingle trunk game
Singing/Screaming the 12 days with my family
Shopping til I dropped with Jill & Ryan
Opeing the boots I have been coveting for months-thanks honey :)
Sledding down a half mile hill in Manti-sure I would crash but laughing all the way
Spraying Kylee & Gracie after the New Year countdown (we stayed up til midnight-Aube too!!)
Playing cards for 3 straight hours just me and Ky
Watching my girls playing together without fighting (several times) it was a Christmas miracle

I took a lot of time off during the holidays and I felt so blessed to be with my family, to be healthy and happy, to be employed and have such amazing friends in my life. I am grateful for my Savior, for the celebration of his birth and His life we are able to commemorate this time of year. I love him. I believe in Him. I know He lived and died so that we can be together forever.

I hope this Christmas found you utterly happy and filled with gratitude for all you have been given.

Merry Christmas!

Aubrey Christmas morning-she was a bit shy at first, but was so excited at each and evey gift. She would ask at each one "Is this for me?".

Aubrey in her "Ariel" outfit with her Aladdin. She LOVED her Uncle Ryry.

Santa brought Aube a "Sleeping Cutie" dress

Christmas dessert. So delicious it deserved it's own photo!

Stoddard Family Christmas Party 2010

2011-01-08T09:03:00.005-07:00

I love this family party. It really kicks off Christmas for me, unlike anything else we do. This year was no exception. We ate and laughed and laughed. I had the best time ever.

We did several games this year. I had a guessinng game for the kids where they guess the items in a few tins. Keaton and Bo were the winners. I loved that nearly all the kids put "1" for a box that actually had 8 things in it. The adult guessing game was a large box wrapped and they had to guess how many items were inside. This year I put all the fixings for a ham dinner along with wrapping paper and tags. Congrats to Neal & Stacy our lucky winners. Neal guessed it right on-10 items!

We also had a few games from minute 2 win it. They made me laugh sooo hard. Loved it. Even Russ & Joan got into the action. Here are a few of my fav pics from the games.

Love this one of Joan!

Like Mother, like Daughter

JingleInTheTrunk

Russ & Joan jitterbugged their way to victory...with Russ dumping out all the bells-ha! They are darling.

Way to go Blythe! This was by far the hardest game.

Tyson, you kill me!

All the kids performed, we ate lasagna (Stoddard family tradition) had a hot chocolate bar, a secret santa gift exchange and an ugly sweater contest (Ella won that with her darling little rudolph light up shirt). Then we sang the 12 days of Christmas like it was goin out of style. Regina was my favorite singer/screaming partner. Followed by Russ reciting Luke 2.

It was the best Family Christmas Party EVER-(if I do say so myself).

I love being a Stoddard!

Forever Families

2010-12-22T18:11:00.005-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about this today.

Families are FOREVER.

Sometimes it's a comforting thought, other times it's overwhelming (there is no escape from these people...EVER-ha ha). I've thought about my children and how much they have been fighting lately and how heavy that weighs on my mind. I thought of my recent discovery that I hurt a family member and was completely oblivious to it until the "dam" suddenly broke. I have thought about my younger brother and the loneliness he must be feeling right now, regretting the distance I have placed between us. I have thought about enduring love and the importance of forgiveness and self awareness within a family. I have thought of all our family has endured over the past few years and how much I have grown from it.

As I've pondered these things, I remembered a little word statue we were given by Paul's parents for Christmas last year. It says "Families Are Forever". When we received it, it was in perfect condition. No scratches or lost parts. No nics or cracks. The colors were bright and vibrant. I loved it!

Now, it looks like this...

It has been accidentally knocked to the ground cracking it in several places time and time again. It's been bumped and stepped on, the sun and light has faded its once bright and colorful paint. The legs and arms have fallen off the little figurines as it has endured much trauma throughout the year. Each time it experiences these mishaps I do my best to repair it, gluing even the tiniest chip over and over again. I’m distressed when I find that it once again has come apart. Saddened as a few parts are nowhere to be found and dismayed at the realization that it will never be as it once was.

This is so much like our families. We go through our ups and downs too. We feel stepped on and faded. Life sometimes knocks us off our space. Experiences and situations crack our exterior, yet we do our best to repair; we forgive, we try harder, we attempt to change. Under some situations perhaps we will never be the same. Yet we remain in tack, for the most part, and continue to do our best to restore and band together regardless of our missing parts, fissures and overall damage. How resilient families truly are because of our unconditional love for one another.

Strangely, I find this greatly comforting amid today’s sadness of hurting this family member and the daily concerns and stresses of raising my children. In the end, our desire and love will heal all and we will be better people because of those experiences we endure together and those obstacles we overcome. Family is worth all your effort, family is worth the growing pains, family is worth swallowing your pride. Family truly is the most important thing.

Most of the time I don’t notice all these scrapes and dents in my little saying and I still love it, despite its wear and tear. Now it will remind me of something more.

I am grateful for my family and our potential to be together FOREVER, during the good times and the times we need mending and especially during this holiday season where I am reminded of our Savior and all He has done for us, paving the way so that we can be together for eternity. We are truly blessed.

Black Friday

2010-12-19T21:47:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I feel like a sinner for calling it "Black Friday". I just do.

After my grey Thanksgiving, I trotted on up to SLC to meet Nikki and Christy to do some BF shopping. I haven't been my entire married life so I was pretty excited. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. They are hardcore. They wouldn't let me sleep even for 2 hours. Oh no, we hit Toys R Us at 12:45am and didn't stop until 9am. It was MADDNESS, and also super fun.

Things I want to remember...standing in line at Target for 3 minutes after being dropped off and giving up. Watching Nikki crawl into a clothing rack to try to sleep at "Susies Dresses" (as Nikki calls it). Debunking grochy guss (Christy) that we couldn't walk to Kohl's and back by 4am. Cutting in line at Target-Nikki getting caught haha. Christy saving our place next to Barb! Getting EVERYTHING I wanted from my list.

29 hours after waking up to cook my Thanksgiving turkey-I was home fast asleep. Shockingly, my body didn't take the maddness too hard. I was fully functioning the next day. Who knew?!

Black Friday was awesome. Save me a seat next year ladies :)!

Gratitude

2010-12-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

Before I get into our Thanksgiving hoopla, I want to express sincere gratiude for the out pouring of love from my amazing friends and family. I have mentioned before that my p-blessing says "you have a keen ability to make fine friends". I truly do have fine friends and a loving family. I posted this awhile ago and suddenly came and unexpected and immediate outpouring of love and support. Friends bringing me dinner, watching my kids, emails of love and support. I truly felt bouyed up. And today...at my thanksgiving table I thought of each of you. I am truly blessed. I love you all.

This Thanksgiving (for me) wasn't the best one, I have to be honest. It's not one I want to remember so I am just going to show a picture of the centerpiece I made for the kids table, thank my husband for my "re-thanksgiving" and call it good. Oh and mention the turkey was amazingly delicious. Thank you America's Test Kitchen :).

I am soliciting invites to your house for next Thanksgiving...any takers? I'll make a pie or something? How about Martinelli's? Anyone...anyone?

Tiny Tots

2010-12-06T09:40:00.001-07:00

Aubrey had her first dance recital on the 20th of November. Paul and I are still shocked at how well she did considering the fact that her practices are mostly full of distraction than actual dancing. Because of this we invited no one!! We weren't sure what to expect. Aubrey is the youngest (and cutest I might add), which translates into least focused...so we were prepared for disaster. Much to our surprise our "Tiny Tot" went out there, donning her most serious face, and danced the best we have ever seen. I have never been so proud. She was completely adorable.

Next performance is in the spring. Be there!

Happy 9th Birthday Kylee

2010-12-02T22:02:00.001-07:00

November 6th marked Kylee's 9th year on earth and in our little family. What a great blessing she is and I am so honored to be her Mommy! That morning I asked her if she felt any older and she said, "Well...I feel a little more mature". Classic Kylee!

This year is a party year so we had a "Spa Party". A bunch of other little rambunctious 9-year olds joined us at Tiff's for a little pampering. We did hair, maincures and pedicures. They ate yummy food and laughed and laughed. There was one little girl there that I was pretty sure might explode out of her own skin with excitement...or was it weirdness? Christy, Tiff and I just kept looking at each other like, "who the heck is this girl"...yeah good times.

Big GIANT thanks to my two besties-Christy & Tiffany for helping the whole thing come off without a hitch! I love you both more than I can say.

The Invite

The Tablescape

My favorite was the facials-homemade chocolate mask.

At first they were leery, then they went for it! So cute.

This is my favorite of all...sooo relaxed. Ha ha

The Food.

Had to go all out for my baby girl. Paul kept saying "there's too much".

Well ALL of it got eaten-so there!

Each place setting had a mini cupcake with the name place.

Here's is Kylee's. She loved Aunt Christy's mad decorateing skillz.

More Table.

A mirror to apply the facial, cupcake for the name place, towel to wash off the goo

and a hair tie to pull back their hair (made by yours truly).

Thank you's.

A little box full of "spa" stuff-loofa, nail polish, brush, lip gloss, bath beads.

Kylee, this year you asked for Taylor Swift CD's and a shirt with a peace sign on it. Aunt Jill gave you a CD and a darling white sweater that you love. Christy gave you a Justice gift card that you used to buy a black sequence hat and a scarf. Tiffany took you for an afternoon, did your hair, bought you an outfit and took you for a photoshoot. You have so many people in your life that love you.

At 9 years old...you are a sweet and tender hearted little girl. You try to lead by example, you are honest, you hate to clean your room, Aubrey bugs you to no end right now-her coming into your room is your biggest pet peeve. You love to sing and write poems and stories. You are the best big sister in the world-when you decide to be. You love taking long hot showers and you hate to get up in the morning. You are also one of the funniest little 9 year olds I know. I love you to the moon!

Here are a few of the AMAZING pictures Tiff took of you. Thanks again Tippy. You are the best.

Adulthood

2010-11-11T21:11:00.004-07:00

As a child when things in my life were crummy, or even as a young adult when I made bad choices that left me feeling like life couldn't possibly go on. I would seclude myself, usually outside to close my eyes and picture myself as a bird flying far away from my problems and the impossible issues of the time. Oddly, my life as a bird brought me great comfort. This vision made me feel like freedom was close even tangible. It centered me amid the chaos of life.

Today I feel the chaos closing in, threatening to swallow me whole.

I am just getting back home from a whirlwind benefit open enrollment tour of sorts. I left Sunday to DC, returned Monday night at midnight. Flew out the next morning to San Francisco and reuturned home late Wednesday night. Only to wake early for work this morning. Traveling for work is not glamourous or fun, even though I think it sounds that way. It's lonely, exhausting and tons of work.
.

I returned to piles of "to do" lists in the office and at home. After 9 hours I have made no progress. I have so much running through my mind, I don't even know where to start. At home I am trying to juggle everyday life, groceries, meals, homework, after school schedules, bills, cleaning, Thanksgiving plans, dance recitals, catering orders...on and on. At work, I literally have piles of work on my desk and today, over 250 unanswered emails. This, amid the other corporate politics I am trying to battle. Work is rough and I am feeling very underapprecaited, over worked and under paid.

I am also trying to gracefully deal with physical pain. A few weeks ago I finally saw a podiatrist who explained I will need surgery and soon-on both feet! The pain has intensitified with the perks of flying-swelling and lots of it. With work as busy as it is this season I have to put off my surgery until January, which seems an impossible feat (no pun intended :).

As if this wasn't enough. Today Paul and I had a spat. I said things that I very much meant and things I should have said at a more conveient time and definitely with greater love. Our disagreement was literally my breaking point.

After our somewhat heated discussion I drove back to work. Feeling the full weight of my life responsibilities pressing down hard. I was certain that they would most literally crush me. I sat in my car, attempting to compose myself and I wished, once again, to be a bird. To fly away from this crummy state, this crummy feeling, this crummy circumstance. To feel the freedom of flight and the problems of my world far beneath me. Only this time my day dream offered no comfort or relief. At first, this left me feeling more upset-even my own fantasy's can't give me what I need.

I have thought alot about my bird today, which brought to mind many memeories both good and bad. This pondering has helped me understand the void of comfort and accept the fact I am no longer a child. I hear people say they never feel older than 19, I get what they mean. However today, I can't help but admit I can no longer avoid adulthood. Time to face facts. These responsibilies and obligations that seem so relentless are ones I have created or chosen, as opposed to those that happened to me as a child. And the reality is...I have the ability and tools I need to change. Change my job, change my situation, change my attitude. Something I never realized as a child. I can change.

My goal in writing this is to remind myself that life goes on. A documented memory to remember to roll with the punches and change what and where I can and realize that good is all around. Taking a step back from today's issues will reveal an endless feild of blessings of that I am certain. I see them. I need to count them and I will recognize that life is still good amid the chaos. I am employed, my body will heal, I will find the courage to confront my boss, the job will get done, relief will come.

Today, I release my little bird. Facing the fact that adulthood means responsibility. Responsibility to others and to myself. Escape is not freedom. I understand this. I accept this. I find strength and determination in my ability to adapt and change.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T20:33:00.004-07:00

I declare Halloween 2010 the best Halloween ever!

The night began terribly. Aubrey was in a foul mood after getting in trouble for playing with the bright red lipstick we were using for Kylee's costume. Let me re-phrase...for playing with, then STEPPING in and all around the living room carpet with the bright red lipstick. Tears! Oh, the tears. Kylee, always the helpful one, continued to point out that our carpet is just "polka dot" now and "wasn't that bad". We scrubbed and rubbed and...yeah that ain't comin out.

Then it rained. No, it poured. "Like a cow pissin on a rock" (as my mom would say). Door-to-door was out at that point so we headed to the mall to brave the herds there. It was really ridicuous. I felt like cattle and almost every store was out of candy. Luckily, the weather began clearing up.

And here is where the night takes a turn for the better...

We took the girls up by Kylee's art teacher over in the "nicer" area behind UVU. We scored! Not only was the offerings awesome (3 regular size candy bars, microwave popcorn and a can of soda!), but the area felt so nostalgic. There were families all over with their kids. Almost everyone's lawn was perfectly manicured. We would run to the door to get the candy with the other mob of kids. Everyone was all smiles and so friendly. Aubrey even got to meet Cinderella and Belle at one house. Two teenagers came to the door dressed and playing the parts. Aubrey couldn't take her eyes off them. It was so funny. We laughed and had so much fun.

Surprisingly, Aubrey loved trick or treating. She performed for nearly every house lifing up her arms to show how her arms worked. She was wearing tights and a dance leotard and held out for 2 hours in more than chilly weather...WITHOUT A FUSS. It was a Great Pumpkin Miracle. However, she couldn't muster enough strength to stay awake on the car ride home. The promise of candy can only go so far.

The girls ended up with literally buckets full of candy. And so, I declare 2010 to be the best Halloween EVER! Mostly because Paul was there to share in our fun. A first in several years that he could be with us on this All Hallows Eve.

Our "Spider Princess".
Several people said "cool wig". That is all naturale folks!

Our "Cute Spider"...trying to be scary!

October Happenings

2010-10-27T21:22:00.006-07:00

I love Halloween. We have had so much fun decorating our house and preparing the girls' cosutumes. The past few weeks have been full of fun activities.

Over fall break Kylee and I went to "Breakfast With a Witch" at Gardner Village. It was really cheesy, but I had so much fun hangin with my girl. It reminded me of earlier days when it was just me and Ky all the time. Paul worked and went to school so we saw little of him. Ky was my bestie. I drug her everywhere. Camping, movies, swimming, parties. It made me realize what a fun 6 years we had just her and I.

The breakfast was delicious and we did a lot of shopping and had a lot of laughs. We decided to get a bunch of other girlie friends with us and make it a yearly tradition so practice your witch cackle ladies!

The next day we went for our Second Annual Thriller Double Date with Neal & Stacy. We ate a quick dinner at Slab Pizza, then headed over to Covey. I loved it even more this year! So much fun. I think I prefer to watch it at Kingsbury so I vote we make the trip up there next year. We had such a good time, as always. Thanks to Rob & Kerri for watching the girls for us on such short notice :). A story I don't think any of us will forget!!

I also loved seeing Stacy all knocked up! They found out earlier that day they are having a girl. They were all smiles-as they should be. Can't wait to meet my 2 new little nieces!

Saturday we met Christy in Salt Lake for a little girls time. We went to Sandy to this mega lame festival that claimed to be awesome and was very much NOT! So we headed to Bucca De Bepo for some lunch and then over to Wheeler Farms instead. I have to mention how much Aubrey loved Christy. She had to sit by her at lunch and kept saying over and over "I love Crissy". Adorable!

At Wheeler farms we checked out all the animals, took a wagon ride, then went through a hay maze and picked out a pumpkin. We were all pretty tired after that, but we managed to take a trip to Tai Pan. The farm was a little lame I can't lie, but I loved spending time with Christy. Just being around her puts me at ease-even when we don't really do or say very much. Luv ya Kiki!

Lastly, I am sad to see the end of October arrive. Not just that the cold weather is quickly creeping in or that Halloween is almost come and gone, but that we have had some great FHE nights. Every Monday in Ocotber I have had a little food craft for us to make. First the Owls, Frankenstein, Mummies and mini caramel apples. Fun to make and funner to eat! I am sad to see them end.

Aubrey called them....Frankenstyles :)

Mummies!

Mini Caramel Apples

Next up...HALLOWEEN!

Zoo

2010-10-11T15:36:00.002-07:00

Saturday was a beautiful day for the zoo! We had a great time enjoying the animals and the weather. Have I mentioned I love fall!

Aparently, Aubrey is terrified of giant turtles moving toward her...even if it's at rate of a half a foot per hour. These are the moments I love as a parent. I kept having her look at it and she would FrEaK! Ha ha

Ky just read a book about Gorilla's so she was pumped to see one. She was a little disappointed it wasn't a baby. I can totallly see the resemblance.

Aubrey wasn't quite sure about this statue. Real or fake? She wouldn't get close enough to tell.

Our monkeys

My favorite was the baby elephant. Could this little thing be cuter?

Paul loves the giraffe's. It was licking the side of the wall over and over. I think they need more giraffe toys. What a tongue!

Dance Class

2010-10-08T09:57:00.002-07:00

Aubrey started dance class this week and it has to be one of the most adorable and annoying things we have ever done. Let's expand on that, shall we...

Kylee started Art class in September and goes every Monday afternoon. Aubrey always wants to go with her and she gets quite upset when we tell her she can't. I explained that she has her own dance class to go to and that Kylee can't come to her class either. Again, this was back in September. Every Monday since then, when we drop Ky off to art, we get an earful. "I want to go to my dance class"..."Kylee can't come"...."I want to go to my class, NOW". Over and over and over! This Monday sent me over the edge and we went right down and enrolled her. I told her we were going to dance class and she was all smiles. We didn't even pull out of the driveway and she said, "Mom I am so happy". Adorable.

We went in and got her tap and ballet shoes (which are so tiny). I couldn't get her to take off the tap shoes or try on the ballet shoes for that matter so she wore those home. I was successful in getting her out of the performance outfit saying it would get wrinkled in the car. Phew! She carried it in the plastic cover, half dragging it to the car. She promptly tried it on and spun around and around for Daddy & Ky. Precious.

The annoying part comes in here. We signed her up, but she didn't actually have class until Thursday. All night she whined and repeated...and repeated....AND repeated, "I want to go to dance class", "Can we go to my dance class". How much can one family take? We finally convinced her it was "tomorrow".

She will perform at Covey Center for the Arts sometime this fall. Don't miss it. I think she is going to be the cutest thing to ever hit that stage! But...I may be a little bias.

Sundance

2010-10-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things to do here in the fall is go up to Sundance to ride the lift and bask in the changing season. This year, due to busy schedules and (I'll admit) a little marital miscommunications we didn't get up there as soon as I would have hoped. It was still beautiful, but a lot of the leaves had already fallen. Regardless, it was still a good time and I'm glad I didn't miss it entirely.

It was near impossible to get pictures of ourselves on the lift so we did individuals instead.

Kylee has a love-hate relationship with this lift. She hates it goin up and near the end starts enjoying herself. So this picture of her really captures her essence.

Can you really go to Sundance and not get a sucker?

We also had some pastries. Delicious!

A pit potty stop at the top (don't sit too close to that picnic table).

No, seriously.

Happy Fall Y'All!

Owls of Fun

2010-10-05T19:53:00.003-07:00

I saw these adorable owls in a Southern Living magazine at work and had to try them for family night. They were so fun and easy to make. Hooray for Halloween!

After all, who doesn't love a good Moon Pie?

Even Daddy got in on the action. He can be so delicate.

I have to say his turned out a little on the scary side. Happy Halloween!

Family Pictures...sort of

2010-10-03T20:22:00.006-07:00

Last Sunday on a whim we decided to go up the Provo Canyon and take family pictures, of ourselves. After all, how difficult can it really be...

Turns out pretty difficult. We would snap a picture, then one of us would run over to check and see if we were centered, if the lighting was right, if everyone was smiling and looking at the camera. The other stayed with the kids to keep our spot and keep things "together". And we would try again. It was so ridiculous, you couldn't help but laugh. And that we did...

At first Aubrey was the silly one

Then Kylee joined in

Then Paul was ridiculously hilarious. I guess I just thought so.

This is my favorite of the lot. Total "Paul thinking he's awsome" face. Still funny.

We decided after the family madness to try individual portraits. Those were much easier :)

Ok, I guess we were still being silly...

Paul loves it when I do duck lips in pictures. Really he hates it, so I do more :)

I do love these of Aubrey

Needless to say, we'll be hiring a pro. Turns out they really do earn their keep :). At least we had a few good laughs.

Time Flies...

2010-09-29T14:22:00.001-07:00

It has been over a month since I last posted! I know it's bad when Paul asks, "when are you going to update the blog?". Time does certainly march on and I have missed so much. We've been busy with "last of the summer season" visitors, trips to Idaho, adjusting to new school schedules and Paul's marathon.

SUMMER'S LAST HOORAH:

My brother and sister came for a Labor Day extravaganza. We shopped til we dropped, visited the Eastern Idaho State Fair, ate, laughed, hit Seven Peaks on THE coldest day of the year, got our eyebrows threaded and watched movies. It was a great time. Get the 3 of us together and we are hilarious-if I do say so myself! I loved having them here. Sadly, we never got a picture with the three of us, but I know what I look like :). I am trying not to completely hate my sister for her amazing figure. Doesn't she look fantastic. Love her! And...sort of hate her :). Somebody throw her a cookie-STAT!

Aubrey loves men (yes, we are very afraid), so naturally took right away to Uncle Ryry She keeps asking where he went. Luckily, we'll see him again at Christmas.

I found this picture and laughed so hard. Then wondered if this cold weather will break her of her swimsuit addiction. Time will tell...

The fair was loads of fun. The first weekend I went with Jill and Ryan while Paul stayed home to work and watch the Huskies lose to BYU. It took us 7 hours to make a 4 hour trip so needless to say it was quite the adventure. I am sure Ryan and Jill will remain child-less simply over the experience of traveling with my children. I am not yet in a place where I care to document the events. Yes, it was that bad :).

Take 2 of the fair was WAY more fun, I can't lie. We arrived in the average amount of time it takes to get there so right away things were on the up and up. I also got to spend the first evening at the fair with Christy alone...by myself! We ate it up and laughed and laughed at the hypnotist. I love her, best friends are truly the best. The next day was another 6 hours at the fair: more food, rides for the girls and me :), indian relay races and more food. We were all exhausted come evening, but it was all worth it.

Christy and I talked Ky into riding one of the scarier rides at the fair. It was so much fun and she only screamed bloody murder towards the last few seconds of the ride. I was laughing so hard at her I can barely remember the ride. She was so proud she did it. Aubrey loved the Carousel and rode it 3 times total. She always wanted to ride the hideous cat with a fish in it's mouth. Rides are fun! And expensive. $1 per ticket, I felt personally violated.

I am telling you-my kids LOVE the face painting. They gotta have it every year! Aubrey especially loved her jewel.

Petting Zoo is always a hit. We went in the morning and the animals were starving. Aube loved feeding them.

Paul's favorite is the Indian Relay Races. I was disappointed that I missed the ambulance carrying someone away. Is it bad that I secretly hope for some to fall off the horse and/or get trampled? Probably. But that is who I am.

Aube loves Aunt Kiki

Let us not forget the food. The ONLY reason I come to the EISF, I'll be honest. This year...a month after the carnies have rode away into the sunset...very late at night I can still smell the pronto pups :). Oh how I love fair food.

By the end...we were ALL pooped. See you next year EISF. UR the bestest.

SCHOOL:

Paul starting school again meant Aubrey in daycare. Something I dreaded all summer and actually had an "ugly cry" episode in my car after crumbling under the stress of organizing it all. I never imagined we'd have to put Aubrey in daycare so dealing with it in the begining was more than I could bear. In the end it all worked out. Thanks to Janine for referring Molly and for Tiff and other friends helping out here and there. I can see daycare will be good for Aubrey. She needs more social interaction with other kids and just that experience of being away from us is good.

She started her first day on August 30th. We don't call it daycare, we have been calling it "school" since she is used to Kylee leaving for school. She was escatic. She immediately got dressed on her first day, promptly put her sippy and her toy puppy in her (giant) princess backpack {thanks tiff} and was ready to go. She was so excited. Naturally, she was a little reluctant when Paul dropped her off, but when he picked her up she was all smiles and had a great time. So far, so good.

Top Of Utah MARATHON:

Paul has been preparing for the Top of Utah since June. We registered him for father's day so at that point he didn't realy have much choice but to start training. So I guess I have no one to blame but myself when he talks about all the races he will be running in the future. I fear I have created a monster :).

We drove to Logan on Friday (Paul's bday), met up with Robert and Kerri, Pauls' older brother who also ran the marathon. We had a fun night eating pasta and making plans for what mile we would meet them and how we would navigate traffic. Saturday morning we woke bright and early to see Paul & Rob at mile 14, 20 and the finish line. I can't tell you how amazing and nerve racking it is to watch someone you love run a marathon. I was so nervous for Paul. When he turned the corner headed for the finish I was filled with overwhelming pride. He had worked so hard and there he was finishing his first marathon in under 4 hours! I am still so proud of him. Way to go honey. I love you so much!

I stayed up late Thursday night making cookie gift bags fo Robert & Paul and posters to take with us.

The kids had a lot of fun (and a lot of laughs) from the signs. Ky made the "Run Daddy Run" one all by herself!!

You guys are amazing. Thanks to you I am thinking of running a half this summer. We'll see...

Just Happy

2010-08-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

Today was no particularly great day. No special surprises awaiting me around any corner really. Woke up, showered, got both girls ready for the day and was out the door. Worked 9 hours, home in time for SEPs, dinner, family night, family night treat, homework then bedtime routines. A typical day. Yet here I sit at the close of it and I can't help but feel an overwhelming peacful happiness.

I love to write quotes on a chalkboard I have hanging in my kitchen. If you pay attention you will notice these quotes are always something I am focusing on or struggling with, the latter mostly. Last week I wrote,

"Happiness is a how not a what. A talent, not an object."

Lately, I have been trying to figure out how to transform my current circumstances into my personal version of happiness. At times this seems a daunting task as I find myself frequently looking for ways to improve, how can I stretch and mold to become my wants? How can I resist peeking over the fence to sigh and envy at how green the grass is there? It's a constant battle I have with myself.

Then today...a very typical day. I am left with happiness in my heart. Happiness with the simple. Happiness with the seemingly mundane and because of it, I feel blessed. Blessed that I am starting to see that what I have is wonderful. Who I am now is acceptable and the rest will figure itself out. It's all very empowering.

I also am suddenly very conscious of the fact that the Lord is aware of each of us individually; that He truly desires us all to be happy and will find those sweet moments in our lives to tell us so.

Be happy with you and how far you have come, regardless of the distance.

Third Grade

2010-08-27T12:40:00.000-07:00

School: Wasatch Elemtary

Grade: 3

Teacher: Ms. Dickson

This was the first year Kylee wasn't really nervously anxious to start school. In previous years, she can't eat the morning of and has risen early in anticipation for the day. Not really a good anticipation-the "I may vomit" kind. But not this year! She was excited-the "I can't wait kind". I can already tell, 3rd grade is going to be a great one!

The backpack

The shoes

The attitude

Want to know what the most exciting thing about 3rd Grade is...

The Lockers!

School is cool.

Goodbye Summer...

2010-08-27T11:44:00.001-07:00

The last few weeks of Summer have gone by all too quickly, but we were able to get in a lot of last minute fun.

The Drive In is a summer "MUST DO" for me. We headed down to SLC and watched Despicable Me and Charlie St. Cloud. The Drive In makes for a really late night, but it is totally worth it. I was completely shocked that girls stayed up for both features (ended at 1am). I need to go at least one more time before the season's over and I'll be good til next year. So fun!

I also love to float the Provo River. Next to the Sundance lift, it is one of my Utah favs. Tim and Janine joined us and we had a lot of good laughs and one of us got soaking wet. Ok...it was me! Dang it. Totally flipped head over heels. I am so cool.

Sleepovers! Blythe and Ella came to spend the night and we transformed out living room into a massive fort with an umbrella and load of blankets and sheets. It was so fun (and funny) as we troubleshooted our way. We used bobbypins and thumbtacks and hair clips to keep this sucker up. I'm still so poud of our work. We also ate dinner in it while we watch Teen Witch, painted toenails and ate candy. It was great fun!

This picture doesn't do justice to the awesomness of this fort. I was totally sad they tore it down before I got to hang out in it more. Ha!

Hit the farmer's market in Provo for some face painting and some empanadas. I don't get the attraction, but my kids are obsessed with face painting?

I took the girls and my niece and nephew to Deer Creek for a few hours to soak it up on our last Saturday before school started. I was really hoping for sand, but settled for mud and rocks. We still had a good time, but I'll be sure to bring my water shoes next time.

I also took my tennis lesson a few weeks ago. One of my last birthdate gift leftovers. It was really fun and challenging and made my shoulder SO sore from serving over and over and over again. Brett was awesome and adorable. Thanks again Tiff. Loved it! Can't wait for my sis to come so I can try out my new skillz.

Here I sit, where school clothes and supplies are all purchased. Back to school night is upon us. Aubrey's sitter's are all lined up. Paul's school schedule is packed. Extra cirricular activities are on the calendar for both girls (dancing and art classes). I leave to Chicago for 3 days tomorrow for training. That's it. Summer has left us. Schedules and routines and homework here we come.

My last glimpse of hope for last minute summer fun arrive in 10 days. My brother and sister are coming to visit and we'll close the summer with the EISF. I can hardly wait!

But this is it. Gone. Summer is truly over. Why or why does it go by so quickly?

When summer gathers up her robes of glory, And, like a dream, glides away. ~ Sarah Helen Whitman

Family Reunion 2010

2010-08-12T14:56:00.009-07:00

This last week we spent the entire week with Paul and his family. A reunion combined with Paul's parents 50th wedding anniverary. It was so much fun. I have to be honest that early on (and right up to the day) I was frustrated in the planning and lack of communication with this reunion. However, I tried hard to adjust my attitude as things got rolling and it all turned out great in the end. We really had the most amazing week.

Besides the general hanging out and catching up, we went on a day long "Amazing Race" planned by two of Paul's brothers. We went all around Utah; Temple Square, This is the Place, Park City, Sundance, Provo Canyon and various Provo sites. It was a blast. You had to take pictures of your destinations and do various activities. My favorite (after the folk festival) was riding the ski lift at Sundance. I was paired with Shelly and LeeAnn and a few nephews and a niece. We laughed and talked and sweat together. I loved every minute of it, and if you ask any of us we came in first place!

We also jammed out at the Springville folk festival, swam at the Payson pool, camped at Payson Lakes, took family pictures, had a testimony meeting and a big finale dinner to celebrate Russ & Joan's 50 years together. It was really special. I loved watching all the cousins laugh and play together. Kylee had a great time. She barely could stand to even ride in our car from place to place, she had to be with her other cousins.

Besides the lift and the festival, I loved the dinner. Paul's brother Robert prepared a slide show of pictures of Russ & Joan from dating life to present combined with music from their era. I got choked up watching it. As I stood in the back of the room looking at our family the thought came to my mind, "this is heaven". Surrounded by the love and bonds of family. Truly inspring.

Russ and Joan are outstanding people. They have laid an amazing legacy of love and happiness for their posterity. They are devoted to each other, like I have never seen two people be. I admire them in more ways than I can express. I am blessed to be a part of their family to enjoy their teachings and their examples. I love them. I can only hope 40 years from now our children will think the same of us.

I loved this week, even though the stress of juggling work and activities was difficult it was worth it to be with family!

Jammin out at the Folk Festival-I must make this a tradition. So fun!

Shaelyn, LeeAnn and Stacy doing line dancin.

Blythe, Emma & Kylee

Ky was dancing her jig like I have never seen. I was so proud!

Half of my team-THE AMAZING RACE WINNERS!

2nd Placers

This lady here, with the white hair, was the most competetive. Oh how I love you Joan! Congrats on 2nd place.

Last place? I believe so.

How many Stoddard's can you fit in a water cul-de-sac?

Tug O War Mom v. Kids. I regret to say...they KILLED us.

As you can see...the odds were very much stacked against us. Who keeps procreating? Only one of these are mine--geez!

I laugh everytime I see this picutre. Even Russ is putting his back into it. Leave it to the Dad's to hurt all the kids during their tug o war.

Aubrey loved Anna! I loved the free babysitting.

My nephew Bo, his first time camping and oh how he loved the dirt...his Mom? Not so much.

Utah Sister-In-Laws. We mostly love each other. But there are fights and we get annoyed at each other, but at the end of the day, there's love. Oh yes, there is love. Regina, Stacy, Misti & Kerri.

Camping with cousins is the best. I missed the morning after camping and this pictures makes me sad I did.

Love this shot Paul got of the slideshow!

For the gift, all the kids pitched in and put together a trip for Russ & Joan to Yellowstone National Park. I wanted to give them more than just the printed gift explanation so I painted a rock with yellow and glitter. YELLOW STONE...get it?

I wrapped the explanation seperate from the rock. We had them open the rock first and they just LOVED it...they thought that was the gift. A glittery yellow rock and they loved it. I was laughing so hard. It is so Russ & Joan to be happy with a painted rock. They were even more excited that the real gift was a trip too funny.

Part of the slide show was black and white portraits Paul had taken of eveyone who atteneded. I put them all together into families here. Doing it made me miss everyone and I reminisced over all the fun we had. I love sure love all you guys!

Timp Hike

2010-08-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

On the 23rd Paul and I hiked Timp. It was fun to spend the whole day with Paul. A special thanks to Janae and Kyle for watching the girls while we hiked. We love you guys!

The hike was beautiful, packed and long. It look us 7 hours to get up and down. We didnt' make it to the very top because we ran out of time, but we walked up high enough to see the entire valley. My favorite part was all the wild flowers. Everywhere. It was beautiful.

Hiking down was the most painful thing ever, I can't lie. I rolled my ankle close to the top and my knees were on fire. There were a few times on the way down I wanted to sit on the trail and cry, it was that bad. I guess I can see why people hike up to Emerald Lake, sleep and then come down. Nevertheless, I am glad we did it. I enjoyed spending the entire day with my hubby laughing and talking about this and that. It is such a feeling of accomplishment to finally come over that hill and see the valley like that. I loved it..
.
I just won't be hiking it again anytime soon :)

31st Birthday

2010-08-03T10:43:00.001-07:00

My 31st birthday was a great one. I celebrated with Paul and the girls on Monday since Paul had to work on my actual day. Paul made a yummy grilled dinner and made us all wear birthday hats-we looked awesome. Thenw e went to Shrek 3 and came home and ate my dairy queen ice cream cake-yummE! It was great fun. I appreciate all the thought Paul put into the decor and the dinner. You are a sweetheart babe.

My actual bday was even better-regardless of the fact no one at work even whispered "Happy Bday" to me. Tiffany invited me over for a fabulous dinner with Matt, the girls and Craig. Tiff made a yummy soup and had awesome desserts. Everything was color coordinated in true Tiff style-red and yellow my fav colors. We laughed and talked and it was the best I could have asked for. She even had a pinata! The kids loved it and I laughed so hard watching them take turns whacking it with a golf club.

Tiffany is amazing and I am so grateful to have her as a friend. She is talented, gorgeous, thoughtful, spritual and just all around fantastic. She did all this for me in the midst of first trimester yuckiness. If that isn't true friendship then I don't know what is. Thanks again Tiff! I can't tell you how much that meant to me. You are the best!

The gifts...

Paul suprised me with this little mini ice cream maker. I haven't used it yet, but Paul did last night and loved it. I'm excited to give it a whirl.

Tiffany, in more of her awesomeness gave me several thoughtful gifts. First, a tennis lesson from her brother that I am capital "P" pumped for. I have no idea how to play, but I am way excited to learn.

I also received these mini flares that are just too cute. They even come with mini spoons. ADORABLE. Can't wait to have a little get together and use them. A perfect gift.

Lastly, (and most special) Tiff emailed a bunch of friends and family and compiled their words into a little cards she put into a box. Sweet little notes about me and to me from those closest to my heart. Even reading the kind and loving words I felt so inadequate. It meant a lot to me. Since then, I have read and re-read those notes and my heart is full. I have amazing friends. I am so blessed.

At 31 years I don't feel older, but I look back on this year and see abundance. Abundant blessings of health, good fortune and true friendship. It's been a great year!

July Fun

2010-07-16T12:49:00.010-07:00

Last weekend we took Ky to Logan for Summer Camp. She stays at Christy's house all week with her niece Gracie. They have all sorts of fun and Kylee is completely disinterested in talking to us for most of the week. I am so thankful that Ben & Christy so willingly give of their time to have her come and stay the week. Ky LOVES summer camp and needs the time away. Thanks again you guys! I sure love ya.

Check out this hilarious video we received from Christy a few days ago:

A few I stole off Christy's Blog:

This week also marks the end of my weekly date night with my SIL Kerri and her 4 kids. Her husband has been gone for a month to DC taking a class for his masters. Sort of on a whim we came over for dinner on a Tuesday and it stuck. We planned dinner dates every Tuesday for the past 4 weeks! It has been so much fun and I am really sad to see them end. We chatted and gossiped and complained and laughed while the kids played together. It reminded me of simpler times years ago when we would hang out all the time. I LOVED every minute of it!

This week we had grilled pizza, water fun with the trampoline and slip-n-slided a bit too. Then we went out for ice cream and came back and laughed and laughed at some hilarious you tube videos. Click here and here for some good ones. It is crazy to think my niece and nephew are old enough to be discussing and laughing so hard at stuff online. I remember when they were tiny. Time flies. I will certainly miss our Tuesday fun. Thanks Orem Stoddards for all the laughs and yummy food. I took some pics to document this weeks fun.

This is Gable. He is ALL boy. He makes me laugh so hard!

This is Gherig. I am sure he is going to love this picture. I think it's so funny.

This is a blurry one of Emma, but love that hair and her face :).

Gable was getting flipped all over the place and loved it.

Aubrey and Sophie were quickly disinterested in begin thrown around the tramp so they came in and made cupcakes and dressed in their girlie shoes.

Now I need to devise a plan to get rid of my brother in law on Tuesdsay nights so we can keep it going. Muwaha ha hahaha.

Kylee returns today from Summer Camp and Paul worked last night. Seeing as it was my last night to hang with my toddler I decided to take her on a picnic to have one last hurrah. We stopped at Kneaders for some food and went up to an Orem park. Aubrey was more interested in the birds and swings than eating, but was very excited about the little toy monkey she received in her meal. She carefully placed it on her drink and laughed and laughed about it.

I am pretty sure I have the cutest little toddler on the block. Here she is trying to shade her eyes from the sun.

I can get Aubrey to do ANYTHING with the promise to take her to the swings.

We came home and hopped into our jammies, added another coat of fingernail polish for Aubrey (a daily request) and tried to take pictures of ourselves, which Aubrey thought was the funniest thing ever.

While I am excited to have Kylee back home, I have really enjoyed this week. Hanging out with family and friends and bonding a little more with my baby girl has been just what I've needed.

Best Birthday EVER!

2010-07-12T16:28:00.002-07:00

Technically, it's not my birthday until the 20th, but stars aligned and the universe consented so my birthday came early this year. And it was a AMAZING!

Recipe for the best birthday ever:

INGREDIENTS

1-Mother who loves you and your kids and will take them for the entire weekend-that means overnight people. Yes, she is a saint.

2-Air mattresses cuz you'll be camping in none other than beautiful Jackson Hole, Wy

1- big Splash from the snake river where you will white water raft and talk to a giant polyenisian who will turn out to be none other than Haloti Ngata

3-4 Smores cuz you'll need more energy after all your sweet hikes

1-Loving husband to share your birthday, to laugh with you and whine at you that you are making him bushwhack down the mountian and he doesn't have hiking shoes on

Jackson Hole has a special place in my heart. I lived there for 3 summers before I entered wedded bliss. I worked and played and cried and laughed there...best times of my young adult life maybe. I love, love, love Jackson. I love the smells, I love the hikes, I love the antler arch, I love it all! I never get tired of seeing the beauty of the Tetons. I feel at home in Jackson. Every turn, every store brought so many fond memories back. I reminisced and reminisced as I ran 6 miles (my farthest ever!!) in Grand Teton National Park. It was so good to be back.

Our first day we hiked to Phelps lake. It's been 10 years since I have been there so getting to the rock that we used to jump from was a little adventurous. Nevertheless, as I made Paul bushwhack down the mountain we found a nearby trail and 30 feet later we turned a small corner and there was our rock. How is THAT for planning. The water was freezing and the people there were weird, which is exactly what I expected. So fun!

This is Paul jumping into Phelps. It doen't show, but that is a 15ft drop! I can't lie it's a little scary at first.

Day 2-we went for our run in the park. There were several times where I was really overcome with the majesty and beauty. The primary song "I feel My Saviors Love" came to my mind again and again. I have always felt closest to Heavenly Father when I am alone in the mountains. I feel clarity of thought and peace. Cheezy I know, and I loved every minute! Afterwards we ate breakfast at my very favorite place The Bunnery, then headed back to camp for our whitewater rafting trip.

Whitewater rafting is one of the key things I wanted to do there and we were surprised to be with a group of entirely Utahans. Tyler, our river guide, was the best I have ever been down with. He spun us, told all the dorky river stories, helped us have water fights with other boats and (most importantly) kept us all in the boat :). I felt a lot safer when he had Haloti come sit right behind me. The sheet size of that mans hands...all he needed to do was scoop me out should I fall in. He was super nice and totally humble about the whole NFL thing. At one point on the river they were all talking about rugby then football and I said, "Oh, you play football too?". Yes just said "Yeah". It wasn't until the bus ride home that it came out that he played for the Ravens. Paul was totally star struck after that. He remembered 10 years ago we sat in front of him at a BYU game and blah, blah. To me he was just a giant, NFL player who was on our boat who could splash people with a paddle 15 ft away. When I saw that I was so grateful he was on our boat. Haha.

Can anyone look good-forget that even comfortable in a wetsuit? I had to document this nasty display for posterity. Paul suit is (ahem) a little tighter than we anticipated in certain areas. Wha ha ha ha.

After that long and tiring trip we ate at Merry Piglets another sentimental and delicious place.

Day 3-We hiked to Hidden Falls and Inspiration Point. There were so many kids everywhere that I started to miss the girls a little. I imagined how much fun they would have seeing the water fall (getting to it would have been less fun). The hike was great and the view was just as I remembered it. I tried to really take it in.

HIDDEN FALLS

INSPIRATION POINT

After we rented a canoe and set out on the lake. It was a little windy and choppy, but still really fun and still amazingly beautiful to see. This jaunt concluded our trip. We headed back to celebrate the 4th with Mom & the girls.

PAUL, MY DORKY CANOE GUIDE

It truly was a perfect birthday and a great 4th of July. We made a pit stop at the firework stand for our share of illegal fireworks that we took back to Abredeenland and set off. The girls loved them (an so did we)! We all just laughed and "ohhed" and "ahhhhed".

We talked on the way home about making this a yearly event so you better mark your calendar Mom!

Happy Independence Day America and Happy (early) Birthday Me :).

Aberdeen Daze

2010-07-01T16:31:00.004-07:00

We spent the weekend celebrating my new found freedom from studying in none other an the 11,000,005th wonder of the world, Aberdeen Idaho.

The BACKGROUND...

I moved to Aberdeen when we left my dad in 1987. It might as well have been the center of the universe because in my world it was! I loved it there. I still marvel at the strength it took my mother to leave with 4 children all on her own and make it work. How terrifying that must have been. She was 26 years old. Mom worked a lot, I remember that. We were alone at lot too, but we took care of each other. Aberdeen is a tiny-not even that- it's a dinky little town, but I felt free there.

As I stroll down the "main street"-really the only double sided street of Aberdeen, a flood of memories come rushing back...

Turning every couch cushion and jean pocket searching for pennies for a sugar fix at the Family Quick Stop. When you are six Sweedish fish can't be beat. I remember waiting for my Mom at the police station after my brother broke both his arms on the swing at school. Playing for hours and hours the city park. Putting pennies on the train track. Getting 2 weeks off of school for "Potato Harvest". Getting baptised with my brother at the Pingree Stake Center. Hanging out at the library (which is the size of bathroom in the Provo library). Swimming in the field between the elementary school and the high school when they would flood it wih irrigation water. Sounds so nasty now, but I would totally do it again if I could be six again. I received my first "ten speed" red fancy bike here and I felt pretty sweet riding it down the dirt roads. Aberdeen was the first place I saw dogs mating. It was the first and only time I ran away from home-to the boat docks! Ha ha. It was where I found my love for basketball as a 3rd grader. I remember riding bikes with my brothers to "the beach" where we stayed all day and barely had the strength to ride home. Abredeen is where I realized there were other religions besides Mormons. Aberdeen has "Klaussenites" as we called them. They have long hair and all the girls wear skirts all the time. They name their children things like "Kambria Klaussen and Kelita Kilcup"-real names, no joke! At 13 I came close to death in Aberdeen. I remember taking walks with my Mom after being released from the hospital so I could get strong enough to go back to school. Several of my friends drove the 45 miles to come visit me in the hospital. I made so many great friends there.

18 years later I look at this town with my adult eyes and the edges have definitly lost their sheen. A town that seemed so vast and full as a child now seems miniscule and vacant. The Quick Stop is a Mexican restuarant, the library looks dingey and run down and "the beach" has lost it's blue sparkle.

It's interesting how life twists and turns. How our memories preserve people and places in time expecting our absence to pause their very existence; preserving everything in pristine condition. Alas, I see that Aberdeen has moved on. I have moved on, both travelling forward toward the lives we are creating. Our experiences and time modifying us both and now I see we no longer "fit" as we once did. However, I cherish these memories of my youth. Memories that built my character and taught me about life. Memories that will forever tie my heart to this little dinky farming town.

The DAZE...

Without a doubt my favorite memories of this town were Aberdeen Daze! A weekend long extravaganza of food and fun! A free pancake breakfast for the whole town, a parade down main street and a fish fry-who could ask for more? We timed our trip to this luxury town to coincide with "the Daze" and it didn't dissappoint. The cakes were hot the chocolate milk was cold-we had a little visit with the Lewis' and took a stroll down the "sidewalk sales"-all of which took 15 minutes. Ha ha. The girls loved the parade and hanging out at Nana's with all the farm animals. We napped, slipped on the slip in slide, chased chickens, killed Voles and ate yummy food. And even had a stow away on the way home (a story for another time...).

I can't lie that I was ready to wipe the dust from the little town and hit a Target store come Sunday, but I enjoyed visiting with my Mom and chillin out with those laid back country folk.

Aubrey thought she was the parade...

Ky left with a giant bag of salt water taffy. The ONLY candy Aberdeen had, I swear, cuz that's all anyone threw!

This swing was used and used and used. There was laughter and there were tears. Good times!

Paul chased...

And finally caught a chicken (to be slaughtered the next day). Sad.

Mom is growing our Thanksgiving Turkey this year. Here he is. Don't feel bad for him, he is fulfilling the measure of his creation.

Here are more of Nana's animals. Just to clarify...they do NOT eat dogs in Aberdeen :)-I know it's hard to tell.

Aberdeen's slow pace makes me tired. That or the fact Paul made me run 4 miles with him earlier.

Slip n sliding was fun. Until Paul's turn when he promptly broke it. I guess they mean it when they put "For ages 4-12 years"

Aberdeen sunsets are lovely...

PHR-PASSED!!!

2010-06-24T12:02:00.001-07:00

Since the end of March I have been preparing to take the "Professional in Human Resources" certification. It is a big deal in my industry to have it so I wanted to give it a shot. The test itself is the equivalent of taking the last 2 years of college and taking a comprehensive final on all you learned in those 2 years. It was HARD! It was STRESSFUL! My company paid $700 for me to take it so I felt a lot of PRESSURE. Studying sucked away so much of my time, patience with my kids and sleep that once I walked out with my "PASSED" certificate I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!

I am so grateful for so many friends who offered support and words of encouragement. I received so many sweet text messages and a special treat bag from Tiff the night before full of things I adore (M&M's, junior mints, gift card to Happy Sumo). I ate a TON of the candy in my stress binge the night before and it was just what I needed! It was so sweet and I felt so loved. I have amazing friends. Tiff even watched the girls so Paul and I could go out and celebrate. We ate Sushi and laughed. It was the best.

Paul and the girls also left a card in my car right before I left work to take my test. Paul shared a quote,

"The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur." ~Vince Lombardi

I read it and started to cry. I had studied so hard and sacrificed so much that I needed to allow my effort to be more important than the end result. I didn't realize how much I need that perspective. I love you hun!

I went into the test and I was sweatin like a sinner in church. Half way through I took a break and went to the restroom and saw for myself how much I was pitting out! Let's just say I was trying to wring out my shirt (no lie) it was bad.

I am so glad it's over. I am so proud to have passed. I never want to see another notecard or textbook for the next several years. My desires to go to graduate school was greatly diminished in this process. I am not in a place where I even remotely feel like studying, being away from my kids or putting my family through that stress. Been there, done that.

For now I'm officially kicking off summer so look out Utah...drive inn movies, hiking the Y, Seven Peaks, BBQ's, float trips down the provo river, hiking Timp, smores up the canyon, camping...oh yeah! I am ready...

5K

2010-06-22T12:07:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I ran in the "Running With Angels" 5K. Let me preface this by saying...I am NOT a runner. It is possibly up there with one of my least favorite things to do. I feel awkward running-and it's somewhat painful with my shin splints. But, it's good exercise and I have all the equipment so I go.

I ran this 5K in 30:09. I was beaming with pride because my goal was an 11 minute mile (which for me is really good), my last 5K in 2008 I ran in 35 minutes. I crossed the finish line certain my family would be there cheering for me...but no. Paul wasn't anticipating me finishing before 33 minutes. I loved the look on his face when I walked up. He was totally shocked. The rest of the day he kept saying, "I am so proud of you hun! You did such a good job".

I can't lie that I was (and still am) amazingly proud of myself too.

But I still don't enjoy running :).

Father's Day 2010

2010-06-20T20:43:00.005-07:00

Happy Father's Day honey! It was the greatest Father's Day so far if you ask me. We skipped half of church, opened your gifts, had lunch on our new patio set, took a walk to bridal veil falls and came home for a quick nap-then you headed off to work :(.

Since then I have been reflecting on "Fathers" and I am so proud to have you as the father of our children. I have mentioned before that previous to you Father's Day wasn't always a great one for me. I remember as a youth thinking I would make sure-bar none that my children had a Daddy who would love them and support them, unconditionally. A Dad that would never raise a hand in anger or speak an unkind word.

Now here we are...10 years and 2 kids later and I look at you and pat myself on the back because I picked a good Dad for my kids. You are humble and patient slow to anger and quick to love. You play with our girls, you laugh with them, you teach them. You truly are a great Dad. Thank you for being the kind of Daddy I needed and hoped you were going to be. Our girls love their Daddy...and so do I :).

Happy Father's Day!

Father's Day cards...the hamburger is Kylee's. So cute.

Found this...

2010-06-17T09:30:00.002-07:00

Cleaning off my desk this morning I laughed so hard when I came accross this drawing Kylee made for President's day. Had to scan and preserve it for our posterity...or for others to have a good laugh :).

I absolutely love it!

Grrrrr....

2010-06-09T09:06:00.001-07:00

Today I am melancholy. Such a cool word, huh. Just seeing it reminds me of the movie "The Wedding Singer" ha ha (if you can name the scene you are top notch!) but alas it is true. The definition makes it even more depressing..."a feeling of thoughtful sadness".

Yes, I am feeling thoughtfully sad for myself today. My health is frustrating me. This constant dull headache and lack of sleep is wearing on my nerves. To top that off I have a cold that just won't go away. It's draining my energy and enthusiasm for anything. I feel stressed and overwhelmed by a certification exam I have in 2 weeks that I feel barely prepared for even after weeks of studying. I am angry over family communications. The lack of control and ability to communicate over our arrangement is completely infuriating. I left this morning discouraged by all the things that need to be improved in our home and questioning why the heck we even wanted to buy this lump of wood. The realization that nothing will get done without my execution is disheartening to the point of tears. Not to mention the daunting task of mitigating the costs tied to these improvements. Lastly, don't even get me started about how exasperating it is to leave my children to go to work. A circumstance that seems infinite and with each passing day my resentment grows deeper.

Mundane. Aggravating. Overwhelmed. Angry. Today, this is my mantra.

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

Baking Blur

2010-06-07T13:41:00.003-07:00

Memorial weekend I spend 97% of in the kitchen baking for a friend in my ward and helping Christy with some other party treats. I am not sure if it was the volume of this order (treats for 85) or all the dishes I washed and rewashed in my tiny kitchen, but it solidified my place in the "definitely never going to do this for a job" category. I enjoy baking, but I'll leave the big orders to the pros :).

Photography, layout design and delivery assistant extrodinaire via my talented friend Tiffany Bills.

Description top left to right: Dark Chocolate Brownies, Cupcake Bites, Double Vanilla Cupcakes with Strawberry Buttercream frosting, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Cake Pops, Chocolate Cupcakes with Vanilla Bean frosting, 12 layer Vanilla Cake with Dark Chocolate Cream Cheese frosting.

Get it?12 layers for 12 years of school. Yeah I am so clever :)

Oh! There's more. I also spent Friday night with my BFF Christy making these adorable wedding cake pops for a 60th anniversary party. Honestly, we spent the night gossiping and spilling sprinkles all over my kitchen floor. Good times. I love how they turned out. Adorable AND delicious!

Those are tiny little red and pink hearts...so cute.

Orange Belt

2010-06-05T06:52:00.000-07:00

Ky worked hard the past 3 months to earn her orange belt and of course she is mighty proud, as she should be. I missed the ceremony because I have been getting migraine's (along with insomnia) lately and I felt terrible so I stayed behind. Paul said she did her front kick, chicken kick, and standing jump kick perfectly! Sad I missed the it. I love watching her perform the look on her face is adorable.

This is probably where she will remain on the way to black belt status, at least for now. Karate ends mid July and Ky has decided she would like to try something new. The past 6 months I have enjoyed wathcing Kylee gain more confidence, shed weight, become more flexible, strong and understand her body better as she has taken Karate. It has been a great experience.

Kylee you are the toughest (and cutest) little ninja I know.

2nd Grade Complete

2010-06-02T12:50:00.003-07:00

Helen: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.

Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.

Helen: It's a ceremony!

Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity...

I kept thinking of this line from The Incredibiles the entire last day of school. Does a 2nd grader really need a closing ceremony? Seriously!? Does a dance with all the kids in your class really give your year that special sparkle? Is that resume worthy? I think not. Hence, we skipped the whole shebang. Making the last day of school glorious and beautiful for Kylee and for us.

Instead, we spent the morning at Mimi's Cafe with a pit stop to Funfinity to play with the toys. No crowds of families pushing to see their child's dance. No circling the block over and over again to find parking. No psycho parents huffing and puffing because they can't see. Yes, it was the best last day of school ever. All because we didn't set foot on the school grounds!

I can't lie that morning I felt a little guilty enticing Ky to skip the "dance festival" for pancakes, but the guilty phases ended when we drove by the mass. It was a good decision and we had a fun time.

Goodbye Second Grade. Goodbye Mrs. Avery (my favorite part)! Goodbye Wasatch Dance Festival.

HELLO SUMMER!

Look how happy we are NOT to be attending the Wasatch madness.

Even Aubrey kicked up her feet and basked in the joy.

I declare skipping the dance festival a family tradition. Let's hope it sticks...pancakes can only go so far :)!

World Record?

2010-06-01T15:15:00.007-07:00

Aubrey is in the running for a Guinness Book recod, entering under the "Swimwear" category.

We just completed week 4 of Aubrey C O N S T A N T L Y wearing at least one part of a swimsuit.

We are talking to bed, to church, the bathtub...everywhere!

She will randomly want to change from one bikini top to another, but she hasn't gone without one for a month now and I am starting to wonder how we are going to get out of this pickle.

I have to bribe her to put clothing on on top of her suit and the second we get home it's off with it. Sometimes the battle just isn't worth it and we'll go to friends houses or various errands with her in a bikini top and panties.

We get lots of stares and lots of laughs. It's been so long this is all starting to feel normal. Until someone does a double take then I remember, "Yeah, this is a little weird".

Heaven help us!

Three Years...

2010-05-21T06:05:00.006-07:00

I have debated posting this because I realize the weight it carries, but I want my children to read this and learn from my experiences and my sorrow in this trial. So I post it and warn you it is serious and heavy and raw...

Three years ago tomorrow I sat in a courtroom in Vancouver Washington. Sitting beside me was my mom, my older brother and younger sister. Surrounding us were people with deeper hurt and deeper anger than our own. The air was thick, even palpable and I was petrified.

We sat in this courtroom to await the prison sentencing of my younger brother. It was a hard day, a brutally hard day. One of the most difficult of my life to this point. Three years later, I still remember the way I felt, what I was wearing, how rainy the weather was and how hard I had prayed for courage. I needed courage. Please Lord above all give me courage. I repeated it over and over in my mind willing it to happen. All I wanted was to approach this family, no matter what, I would approach them and express my sympathies and apologies-regardless of how meager it seemed and I was terrified...utterly terrified.

It's interesting how life experiences change your perspective. Previously, in similar situations I would never think of the family of the suspect-your immediate reaction is empathy toward the victim, as it should be. But now, for me, I can't help but think: "Their family is in so much pain right now" and my heart breaks for them.

I remember how small my brother looked, how shocked I was seeing him shackled like that. How I wanted to cry, but nothing would come. How surreal the whole day was.

Each of his victims family members took turn to confront, to mourn, and to express love to their daughter...to their son...to their friend. My heart ached for them and yet I could not cry. I agreed with the terrible, hate filled, awful things they were saying to and about my little brother. What he did was evil, inexcusable and senseless. I couldn't deny it, but still...that was my brother. My little brother. It is an excruciatingly helpless feeling.

It is a funny place to be, really. A place where your heart is breaking for both sides. My heart most definitely broke and is still breaking for my brother. And it is rare even now, that a night goes by where I don't think of his victims and their families. When my house is dark and I reminisce over the facts of that night, the horror and the pain they went through. Each time I wonder if it will ever get easier.

3 hours sitting in a small hot courtroom and it was over. 57 1/3 years for my 25 year old brother. The judge gave him a chance and he said nothing. No sorrow, no remorse...nothing. After all that outpouring of sadness, he said nothing. I couldn’t understand it. How could you have nothing to say?

And then he was gone...

The father was rushing out the door and without a thought I started after him literally trembling with fear. I reached him, grabbed his arm and said, "I'm so sorry" over and over. Even as it was coming out of my mouth I realized how pathetic and desperate it sounded. He acknowledged me and walked out. I then turned to wait for my chance to talk to the mother/grandmother. She was sweet and kind to us. I still remember the pain in her face.

I sat on the plane later that afternoon disappointed that my expressions of remorse to this family did little to heal my heart, but I thanked God for giving me the courage to do so.

Three years and I feel as though little to nothing has healed. No closure. No answers. The lack of remorse from my brother was only escalated in later letters. He and I have had no communication for over 2 years. Every few months I make myself pull up all the newspaper articles, watch all the news clips and read everything I can find. A reminder that it is real, that this really did happen. A ritual to wake myself from this numb feeling. I read and cry and watch and cry and in a way I am comforted because then I know I still feel, I still love him. A glimpse that gives me hope that eventually I will get to a point where I can talk to him again.

It is difficult to accept the fact that my family will never be the same--my mother will never be the same. But we all push on. We live, we laugh and we love to the very best of our abilities regardless of how deep this trial has wounded us.

Tragedy will come into your life.

Expect it.

Prepare for it.

Learn from it.

And keep going.

Trampoline!

2010-05-17T11:11:00.002-07:00

Last week we purchased a trampoline and already it has proved to be a great investment. We had a tramp growing up and I have so many fun memories playing on it to the wee morning hours, having sleepovers (sneaking out when we had sleepovers) and laying out on it-so much fun!

It was worth it alone to listen to the girls jumping up and down and literally screaming at the top of their lungs with pure excitement as we set it up.

Even Paul jumped and screamed for joy!

Aubrey is the boss of our trampoline. She will tell you when to start and stop jumping. Oh yes-she is the queen.

Ty was over for our opening ceremonies too and he loved it, but preferred to sit and be bounced. The girls were much obliged.

It took Paul just an hour to set it up...after which it promptly rained for the next 3 days :). Figures. It also has a surround so the kiddos won't fall off. We put that on the following day...in the rain.

Anyone up for a tramp sleepover?

What a weekend!

2010-05-13T16:52:00.002-07:00

I had an amazing and exhausting weekend.

My sister arrived on Thursday and I was so happy to see her and spend time together. On Friday we got a massage and she took me out to sushi then we hit the Beehive Bazaar. Saturday we rode in the Goldilocks race in Herriman and spent the remainder of the afternoon shopping with the fam in Salt Lake. The rest of the weekend we lounged around, ate and laughed and laughed. We had so much fun it was hard to see her go. I have to admit I cried when we dropped her off.

I love my sister. We are 5 years apart so growing up we weren't exactly close. I would often yell at her for stealing my clothes and bugging me in general. Our relationship has grown so much since then and the older we get the more I admire her and the woman she is turning into. Jill is loving and easy going and super fun to be around-she is very sweet and kind in nature and sometimes I wonder how we could be sisters because I am just not that way. Ha ha I just love the person she has turned into. I admire her determination and strength and passion for her career. I love what great friendship we have developed and I can't wait to see her become a mommy some day (and not just because she'll finally get stretch marks-although I am secretly excited for that-he, he, he).

The girls also love their"Aunt Jill". Aubrey snuggled and kissed and held Aunt Jill all weekend. Then cried so hard when we had to drop her off. She kept saying, "I go wit her?...I got clothes Daddy?...I go bye bye wit Aunt Jill, okay?". We said, "Yeah okay" then wondered why she cried so hard when Aunt Jill left. Even Ky cried at school and didn't want to go. What a bunch of babies we are. Paul held strong though...way to go honey.

We love Aunt Jill and can't wait til she comes back in September for her bday and the EISF. Only 115 more days!

We had a blast riding Goldilocks with Christy.It was non-competitive ride and all the proceeds goes to bike helmets for those in need so I didn't care that I was riding my mountain bike. I felt so happy the whole ride. Being out there with my two besties and all these other women. I just LOVED it!

Check out more pics here

Mother's day didn't start out so good...I can't lie. Aubrey seemed to sense the day was not about her and was taking matters into her own hands. At church we sat toward the front-smack dab in the middle and she kept yelling "I wanna go home". Over and over. Ky felt sick because her dress was too tight and she was nervous for her talk so she whined until I let her go home and change. Finally we got home and relaxed and the kiddos settled down. Paul made us some amazing grilled pizza and Jill helped me finish my cake and I opened gifts. Along with Paul's debut on my blog here [his post alone was worth nine months of vomiting while pregnant to gain the title of Mommy]. He also gave me a cooking session for two at Sur La Table (so awesome).

Paul rarely communicates his feelings in words so his post meant the world to me (I won't tell you how inadequate I felt to all the compliments given-but I guess I just did). The fact is...I am able to do all the things I do because of him. He sacrifices his time for me to pursue my hobbies and interests and so I can spend time with friends and serve those we love. He is the one watching the girls while I bake and work and do all I do. He is the awesome one. Without his support I couldn't do any of it. We complement each other well. I love him so much!

Aubrey gave me a song. "Happy Mommy day...you...Misti....Happy...day....to...you". Paul practiced with her all week. I laughed hard. It was so cute.

Ky gave me a plant in a cup-the crown jewel of elementary school gifts. I love it and she gave me this watercolor book written and illustrated by her...I love her artsy abilities (just like her daddy) and I can't get enough of the phonetic spelling. Just darling. I have read it and looked at it a hundred times. I am so blessed to be her Mom.

"No other mom can bake like you"

"Because you take me to movies"

"Because you are so crafty" (she totally did the home sign we have in our living room-too cute)

"Because you take me on picnics"

"You are a good painter" no clue where this one is coming from :)

"You garden with me"...really this means "you make me weed' ha ha

"Best Mom in the HOLE world" love that!!

TO YOU MOM:

I also have to say how much I love my Mom. 2 years ago I posted this about her. I read it again today and I am still amazed at her sweet hair and make up as well as her ability, strength and endurance. She has become a hero to me as I have become a mother. When times are rough I think of her with us as kids and find the strength to keep going. Lately I have been reflecting on our relationship. We weren't close until I married and moved out. Now I realize how much I value and need that love and support from her in my life more than ever and how important the love and influence she has on my children really is. They love her...no really... they LOVE her. She has a special bond with them and I am so grateful for that. She has much to teach them.

I just want to say that I love you Mom. I apprecaite all you have sacraficed on my behalf from completeing your education to the stretch marks and extra pounds. I know I was a surprise in your life-not exaxtly a planned baby, but I feel blessed to be placed in your home and under your care-to learn from you and glean from you independence and strength. You are amazing and I hope you know it!

Happy Mother's Day Misti

2010-05-08T23:13:00.005-07:00

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”~ Elizabeth Stone

Of all the talents that Misti has, and there are many, her Motherhood abilities are superior to any other that she posses and it is one of the things I cherish most about her. I have had the honor and privilege of being a part of her becoming and growing into the Mom I knew she would be when I fell in love with and asked her to marry me. My wife does nothing half heartedly, when she does something she wants to be the best at it. She puts in all the time and effort that is needed to get to where she wants to be. Misti and I come from very different backgrounds, she had to face many different trials that I didn’t have or understand why she had to bear them. But out of these trials she became one of the greatest people I know and truly is my hero. She has taught me how to be a parent. Her passion for our girls is unmatched by any feeling that I have seen. Any important event in our lives she knows how to make it an amazing experience. She is constantly thinking of how to celebrate events in our girls’ lives and finds true joy through seeing the happiness she brings to them. When Aubrey was born, Misti made the choice to enjoy Motherhood to the fullest. She has developed into a Mom that we are so lucky to have. Many people ask me how she finds time or how she can do everything that she does. I tell them how she is so organized, manages her time so well and is just skilled in those areas. But I know she can do it all is because of the love she has for her family. Her love for making her girls happy is what makes her the perfect Mommy. Thank-you so much Mist for letting me be a part of your life. Thanks for the Mom and Wife that you are. Ky, Aubs, and I are so lucky and blessed to have you in our lives. We love you more then you'll ever know.

Catching Up...

2010-05-04T09:29:00.002-07:00

I am a little behind with things so here's a little catch up of what we have been doing:

Treats
The end of April my good friend Tiffany's husband turned 33 so I whipped up a TON of goodies for his party. Sugar cookies, 12 layer cake, sugar cookie suckers, and chocolate curls to top the cupcakes. It was a lot of work and sort of fun (ok the eating was fun). They all turned out darling. Happy 33rd Matt-sorry you're so old now.
(pics and collage via Tiffany Bills)

Bowling
We took Aubrey on her first ever bowling outing. It could have gone better- I won't lie. Ty and Aubrey fought over who could push the ball down the metal whatever you call it and there was a bit of whining and running off. They did, however, have fun playing in the blower! Oh and I kicked "A" and beat everyone in the adult game. Woot! Woot!

Women's Conference
My best friend Christy and her mom Janet came down for WC. Paul was amazing, as usual, and took the girls to Idaho so we could have the time to ourselves.

This is my 2nd year now and it was just as amazing as the first. I really have no words to describe what this conference does for me, especially lately as I have been struggling with various things in my life. This conference is a time to edify and uplift my spirit. I came away this year with clear instruction on the things I need to improve and work on personally and in my family. I was surprised at some of the thoughts that came to my mind regarding my children-specifically that I should encourage my girls to serve a mission. That was a shocker. I loved it and I look forward to next year.

I also love going with Christy and having her Mom with us this year was so fun. We had lots of laughs and ate tons of yummy food. Good times. One thing I did learn my first year was SNACKS! It's all about the snacks. You have a short time to get from class to class and zero time to eat if you want a seat. I had the idea of treat bags for us girls. We all had matching which was totally cheesy, but there were filled with processed goodness so how can you go wrong.

More fun to come this week. My sister arrives in T minus 2.75 days, we ride in the Goldilocks race on Saturday and Mother's day is Sunday. Life really is so good!

Hello Spring!

2010-04-21T11:50:00.001-07:00

This weekend was busy with baking items for a birthday party, but we still found time to have some fun in the sun. Oh the sun...how much we love you.

We rode bikes up the canyon and at one point I thought..."it's sorta hot". It was awesome. Then it was off to a picnic in the park.

I saw this adorable picnic basket at Target and knew it was destined to live with me.

We have been craving pastrami on rye since our LV trip where we visited the Carneige Deli at the Mirage and had their famous Rueben. Our version was equally as satisfying and 1/8th the price :).

Why Aubrey had to wear her swim suit is beyond me, but she was so much happier after she changed so I'll take it. She was really testing her limits at the park. She would run pretty far away and then I'd have to call her back and she would come sprinting. She also continuously brought me all these sticks, so naturally I would throw them and she would return them-who needs a dog!?

Kylee entertained us with her cookie eating skills-she thought this "smile out of a cookie" was the funniest thing on earth.

Our girls love their Daddy. Check out Aubrey's face in this picture. I am still laughing!

I also picked up my first Bountiful Basket on Saturday and I have LOVED it! You go early Saturday morning and they have all your fruits and veggies in a basket-pack em up and take em home. You also never know you'll get so it has been fun trying new veggies.

Bring on summer! I'm ready for more fun in the sun.

Friends...

2010-04-19T09:59:00.001-07:00

This weekend was amazing. The weather was awesome, I had a girls night, hiked the Y, went on a bike ride and picnic with the family and had some wonderful unexpected experiences.

I have thinking alot this weekend about the people in my life. I have realized how the Lord has blessed me by placing people in my life during certain times that has greatly bless me. In reviewing my patriarchal blessing this section stood out to me more than ever,

"...He will bless you with many wonderful friends. You have a keen ability to make fine friends. They will bring to you a happiness and an element of joy that will be everlasting."

**Warning-this could get cheesy and sappy and gooey, but it is sincere and from my heart...so beware :)

In reviewing friendships that have come, gone and stayed over the years I have been overwhelmed with a deep sense of gratitude. I have reviewed so many fun memories with friends. Good memories and hard ones. While I hesitate to list things out, I want to document these memories and those moments where I can now see why the Lord placed these people in my life. Christy, I thought of you holding my hand and holding me up when Mike left. I thought of Jackson Hole and Institute, Bishop Eggbert and teaching me how to repent. I could go on and on. Amber I thought of you: Vegas, Bryce, DEBS, MiraCell so many fun and carefree days. Regina, I thought of us hiking to Squaw peak a million summers ago-I have never told you how much that meant to me, it was huge. Kerri I thought of our reconciliation and what a support you were to me during school. I thought of you showing up on my doorstep crying with me after we heard the news about my Dylon. Jill I thought of crying to you on the phone about schooling and my sorrows there. I thought of how close we have become the past several years. I thought of how much fun we had when you lived with us. Janet, I thought of your faith and endurance through trials. Your experiences have strengthened me and your example is one I think of often. I love your laugh and your sincerity and great love for others. You have helped me in more ways than I can tell you. Emily, I thought of our VT visits and how much I admired how real you were about motherhood. Music to my ears. Michelle, I thought of the timing of our friendship and your help with my girls last summer. I miss you! Heather I thought about how fun you are to be around, your genuine hilarity and of course our Aberdeen ties. Janine, I thought of how real you are and how refreshing that is for me. I feel like I can sit and visit with you til the cows come home. Nikki, I thought of us doing drive bys at ISU, singing in your car and how I betrayed our friendship. I love you and I am still so sorry. Still, you have loved me and support me and continued to be my friend. I am still amazed! Brie, I thought of your blog post about me. I wish you were here longer. I have much to learn from you and I feel like we are just getting started. Jenn, I thought of our family bonds and similarities and how you have helped me deal with issues there. I thought of the love I have for you and how blessed I was to serve with you. You are amazing and strong and your spirituality has been a great example. Cali, I thought of your kindness and your instant love for me as my VTer. I told you personal things when I barely knew you and you have taken them to heart and I feel your support and love. Thank you! Tiffany, of course I thought of this weekend and your sacrifice on my behalf. your willingness to help me and your bright example of faith. I thought of your love for my children and your endless help with them. I love you! Robyn, I thought of your revelation to call me to primary and how much that has meant to me. I thought if you sitting in my home for hours listening to me ramble on about struggles. You have listened, never judged and have supported me. I love you for that! Jami, I thought of the random testimony you emailed me months ago and the odd timing of it all. You were truly inspired. Ana, I thought of the many ways you have strengthened me through your example of love, faith and devotion. You will never know how much I love you and all the ways you have influenced my life. Mom, I thought of you and your strength, your endurance through trials, your love for your children and grandchildren. I thought of the friendship we have built and how much that means to me.

It is so very true that I have been blessed with "wonderful friends". The Lord has placed each of you in my life and at specific times where I have needed you. Needed your love, your support, your advice or your ability to tell me I was being stupid. You have laughed with me and cried with me, have fasted with and for me and your prayers have lifted me during times of great sorrow. You have made great sacrifices on my behalf and supported me even when we differed in opinions. All of you women have been great influences in my life and I realize without you, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I love you all. You are all amazing, strong, vibrant women and each of you truly bring me, "an element of [great] joy".

Viva Las Vegas!

2010-04-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

Spring break was last week and we debated and searched forever to figure out where to go. I have had an itch to get out of dodge to somewhere warm and sunny and...did I say warm, oh yeah and sunny? Utah weather sucks right now and I need the sun!

Initally we wanted to go to Moab -we love camping and haven't taken Aube yet so it seemed like a good idea-until we saw the 37 degree evenings and vetoed that right out the door. On Sunday I looked up weather in Vegas-a balmy 78 degrees and it was settled. Las Vegas or bust! We most literally chased the sun to Vegas and it did NOT dissappoint. It was warm and sunny and a total blast. [Except for one minor incident at the Paris buffet...see below].

We went to Gameworks-always a big hit!

Walked around the strip and visited various hotels...

Window shopped...

Spent four lazy afternoons lounging in the pool. We all got a little crispy, but it was totally worth it!

And there was LOTS of running in the hallways...mostly down to the pool. Every morning Aubrey would wake up and say, "We go swimmin day mom?". She loved it...and so did I :)!

In the spirit of keeping it real here. I will tell you (and be thankful I have no pictures to share). We ate at Le Buffet at the Paris hotel Friday afternoon. It was amazingly delicious. As we are finishing up, suddenly out of nowhere Kylee jumps out of her seat and starts gagging. No lie! Paul runs her out of the restaurant to a walk up cafe across the hall. Where Ky proceeds to vomit all over the floor, her shoes, the garbage can (lid on). While unsuspecting patrons of the cafe and Paris guests alike were forced to witness the violence.

I gathered Aubrey to assist with the mayhem and I see Paul standing next to the vomit area trying to daintily wipe the vomit off the garbage can, floor and shoes with the complimentary napkins. I nearly gagged, after thinking..."that is $15 worth of vomit right there", then ripped the cover off the trash and tried desperately to get Ky to aim her rejects there. Finally, a janitor came over and was simply stunned. He just looked at me and said, "She's just standing in it?!". Completely disgusted he didn't offer me his boom thingy or a towel...no, this man just walked away! I laughed. He obviously doesn't have children. A woman from the restaurant came to our aid and told us to run down to the "Les Toilettes" and she would take care of it. We shoved $5 in her hand and ran. What can you do. We realized at that point that Kylee had about 4 bowls of ice cream-on top of her lunch. Oops! Not my favorite memory from this trip, but I am laughing now.

It was also a 5 hour drive, which inspired us to fly for our vacation to Seattle in June. I think 5 hours is a Toddler's max in the car. We got to Springville and Aubrey started screaming, "GET ME OUT"...over and over and over. Yeah, we are definitely flying!

Thank you Las Vegas for the much needed sunshine and fun with the family. The memory of this week has almost helped me tolerate today's snow fall....ugh.

Easter

2010-04-13T09:27:00.002-07:00

Even though it snowed all weekend we had a really nice relaxing Easter. We ate, listened to conference...napped and ate again. Good times.

There was bed head & chocolate & toys...

There was food-oh my goodness the food. I made an Easter brunch fit for a king! Chicken salad crossiants & kneaders french toast, quiche, artichioke dip & fruit tarts. I think I am still full from it.

These were Paul's fav:

This was mine:

Tiffany brought over this adorable frame and a treat for the girls. I love them! I go into the girls' rooms and see them and they make me smile. Thanks again Tiff!

And let's not forget the bunny ears. Easter just isn't the same without them.

As tradition we did our Easter lesson (WAY harder with a toddler who wanted to open them all at the same time). We also decided to share this tradition with a few friends along with some easter cupcakes. The sprinkles were supposed to look like eggs hiding in the grass...not sure it worked :).

Julie & Julia Dinner Party

2010-03-22T08:59:00.004-07:00

We have been planning this party for months and after meticulous planning and preparation it finally arrived.

Tiffany and I spend 5+ hours preparing the Beouf Bourgignon (beef stew) and Fondue De Crustaces (creamy crab crepes). We laughed and talked and it was tons of work and we made a huge mess, but it was also great to get to know each other better. Then I went home to prepare the Reine de Saba (chocolate almond cake) while the girls slept. Only to head back over to Tiff's Friday afternoon for the final food prep (touch up the stew, noodles and asparagus) for another hour before the guests arrived. Just typing it makes me tired :). I have never made a french dish in my life either (unless french toast counts) so I was really nervous about how it would all turn out. I spend countless hours poring over Mastering the Art of French Cooking trying to make sense of the recipes and making sure I understood each minor detail to make it just as Julia would. I learned two things: first, the French love butter & wine (I have never cooked with so much butter and wine in my life) and second, French food is expensive! However, it was worth every aching muscle and penny spent when we were all sitting around a beautifully decorated table, laughing, eating and enjoying one another's company. All the dishes were delicious. My favorite was the Quiche Lorraine (Janine) and the cheese balls (Ellie) with the beef as a close third. I had a great time, but spend the remainder of the weekend out...out of the kitchen, out with the family and ordering take-OUT :).

Props to Tiff for the decorations, prizes, food signs and all the minor details that made this night amazing! I am blessed to know you.

I think I'll leave the French cooking to the French (or to those that can afford it on a regular basis), but enjoyed dabbling around and learning from Julia! Our next girl's night will definitley be comprised of zero cooking and zero kitchen time :)!

Kylee

2010-03-16T14:10:00.002-07:00

Kylee is growing up too fast for me. Last week we bought her a few camisole tops with a shelf bra inside. She's only eight, but has little nubbies (I think she would DIE if she knew I was sharing this). Whether they are just due to a little excess fat or puberty is yet to be determined, but she is mighty proud to wear them. On Sunday she sat next to another girl in her class and proudly slipped her thumb under her strap to reveal it and gave a sly smile. The girl did the same to her bra and they gave each other "the nod".

I laughed really hard.

Kylee is also getting eavesdropping down to a science. She has to know who we are talking about and what we are saying all the time. It's so annoying, but I totally remember being that way too so I am trying to be patient with it. Sometimes I'll just make something crazy up just to see her reaction.

Messing with your kids is fun!

Ky also ran her first mile ever yesterday in just under 12 minutes. We were so proud and are still proud. Our family is preparing to run a race for the Utah County Child Abuse Prevention Foundation in April and Ky is super excited to participate. More info about the race here. Proceeds go toward a great cause that I am passionate about so I highly recommend it if you're free April 24th. And brunch at my house following the race.

Don't be too eager to grow up Ky and always remember...I loved you first :)!

L.O.V.E

2010-03-15T09:43:00.001-07:00

I am in LOVE with the following at the current moment:

Homemade soft & chewy granola bars

Found this recipes on King Arthur's website. I tweaked it a bit for ease of use. Super versatile, very yummy and healthy! Find it here (email me if you want the "tweaks").

For Christmas my sister gave me a subscription to Cooking Light. I love, love, LOVE it. I found this Chicago style deep dish pizza recipe lightened up to reduce "sodium, calories and fat". I was amazed how this wasn't greasy at all and so easy to make. Recipe here. Definitley a new family fav!

I had a little visit with my dentist last month (no cavities-yahoo), but I did get the big flossing lecture. I HATE to floss. My crafty little dentist gave me this contraption and I am proud to say that I have flossed everyday for 3 weeks. No joke! I am determined to return in six months saying, "Yes I totally floss regularly". Love this tool.

A Princess Birthday

2010-03-07T15:41:00.006-07:00

Aubrey is all about Cinderella right now. Everything is "Cinderella" & "Pretties" so I knew it would be a barbie birthday cake year.

I had never worked with fondant before. I love the look, but think it tastes nasty. My friend Brie told me about Marshmellow fondant so I decided to give it a whirl. It is so simple to work with (similar to playdough) and tasted way better-I still picked it off, but not bad.

Aubrey was so excited and "helped" me a lot with the cake-which means she ate the frosting and played with the fondant while I worked and she absoultely loved the final product! She had to have it by her when she ate dinner, gave it kisses and hugs and then demanded I put it on the floor after the gifts so she could take little bites. It was adorable.

She had a great birthday--Cinderella cake, Cinderella panties, Cinderella wrapping paper, Cinderella "pretty" shoes, Princess back pack (thanks again Tiff & Ty!), new tutu and Cinderella coloring books. She loved opening her gifts and said "Oh cute" after every one. It was such a fun night.

Now if we could just get her to leave the "pretty" shoes and princess back pack at home. She wore both to church today...

The princess panties and pull ups are all the rage now. I told her "don't pee-pee on Cinderella ok". So far...so good.

She is thrilled with this doll...I laughed so hard at this picure. Captured her disturbing excitment/love/obsession perfectly!

Now the potty training and binkie weaning really start. Wish us luck!

Happy Birthday Aubrey!

2010-03-05T12:08:00.002-07:00

This is the first picture we took of Aubrey & Ky in our home...with a camera phone. It's not the best quality, but I love the emotion.

Two years ago today I gave birth to my second bouncing baby girl-after swearing I would never and I mean NEVER have another baby...ever again. Proof that time truly does heal all-even the trauma of pregnancy and new mommy-hood.

I have said it and said it and will most likely continue to say it-Aubrey has really changed me.

In June of last year I posted this, "Aubrey came into this world and I was older...and dare I say wiser and she softened my heart and opened my eyes to the joy of my motherhood experience. I feel I have come into my own with motherhood. I am embracing my faults and accepting my limitations and simply trying harder to enjoy my children-living in the moment and truly realizing joy in this journey." I have truly come so far in the past two years.

As I wrapped Aubrey's presents Thursday night I got a little teary eyed. Thinking back about her and her journey into our family--Aubrey is my little miracle. Not just the whole science behind birth junk, but recognizing the hand of the Lord in my life at that time. I had no plans to have another baby-none. 2007 was a hard, hard year. My heart was broken over tragic events that transpired with my brother. These events and experiences changed my outlook, changed what I thought was important to me. I found myself unsure of my path and my desires in life. I felt really lost and I felt a lot of pain. I was searching for peace and answers and meaning. I yearned for healing and desperatly wanted to recover from the unrecoverable pain and sorrow I felt and get myself back on track. I prayed and listened and prayed again when the answer was "have a baby" and just for good measure I prayed yet again :). That answer was odd and very unexpected. But, I listened and Aubrey came. She brought my heart joy and my focus moved from fixing me and dealing with my pain to caring for my baby. After Aubrey my life came into focus. I felt peace and happiness, which after these events was truly a miracle. A miracle I understand now and I am utterly grateful for, but is difficult to explain in words.

Happy Birthday Aubrey Mae. You and your sister are the light of my life. You bring me purpose and happiness and I love you.

Yellow Belt

2010-03-03T09:09:00.000-07:00

Ky has been taking Karate since January and last Friday she moved up from a White Belt to a Yellow Belt. She was so excited and proud of her hard work. Normally it takes about 20 sessions to get to your Yellow Belt and Ky did it in 12! Way to go Ky-you are the cutest little ninja I know.