Sunday, February 20, 2011

This is Hard!

Yesterday thanks to my SIL Regina I had a few hours to myself. Paul worked and the girls spent the afternoon with their cousins. It took me nearly two hours to wrap my feet in tape and bread bags (I can't get them wet until Wednesday), shower, blow dry my hair and get dressed in clothes other than loungewear and PJs. TWO HOURS! I was so tired after that I wondered if it was even worth all that effort. However, this was the first time in 10 days that I have done my hair and put on makeup and Paul kept saying how pretty I looked. Ha ha so I guess it was worth it. Having some time all alone I planned to take a nap, but I have been feeling very anxious and a little depressed these past few days and I thought if I got myself all ready I would feel better. It worked, but was still really hard.

Being slow and immobile has been getting to me. My desire to get off this couch hasn't caught up with my body and that is super frustrating for me. At least the pain I can drug away. The mental side of this is much more difficult.

I want to go back to work on Tuesday but a few hours out and about Saturday proved to be too much for me. Paul wheeled me around RC Willey to pick out a "big girl bed" for Aube (more on that later) and I sat in the car as we drove to West Jordan to pick up the mattress. Today, I am paying for this little excursion. I am beyond exhausted and my feet are swollen and more painful than they have been in days. Becuase of the pain I had to take more drugs, that make me feel gross and tired and sick. It's a vicious cycle. I got ready, sat in a wheelchair then sat in a car. That's it. Can I really go back to work?

I will say I am more mobile than I have been since the surgery so I am hanging onto that little glimmer of hope.

In other news, my sister got engaged on Valentine's and is getting married August 26th. I am so excited for Jackson to FINALLY be apart of our family. He is such a sweet guy and is so good to my sister. I am trying not to be upset about the fact their engagement postponed by May trip to Texas and New Orleans. I guess I'll forgive them if they have a baby right away. Ha! Love you sis.

Could she be more gorgeous?


Kerri said...

Even though it's hard, take it easy and make sure to take care of yourself!! It's not like you at all, but all those other things can WAIT until you are properly healed. You are not being lazy or even stalled in your progression. You are just taking the time you need to get better so you won't be down like this anymore. How's the reading going? :)

Stacy Stoddard said...

I wish I could be more helpful... maybe I could come and carry you around and that would help you and me. a little stress for me to get this baby out would be nice. but I am glad you are healing and just continue to be patient, soon you will be wishing you had a minute to sit down and rest.

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Paul and I have been married 10 years. We have two beautiful little girls, Kylee and Aubrey. We are blessed with a great family and amazing friends. Life is good!